Wendy Roop: 0:00

Hey friends, it's Wendy with Culture is an Inside Job. And you are getting ready to listen to an episode that we are just now putting out in the world. But we had recorded it almost a year ago. And in this episode, I get pretty vulnerable about mental health, my own mental health, and um and what it what it's tied to. So you'll learn more about that. But I just wanted to tell you how important this episode is to me. And not uh not just for me, because you know it was it helped in in my healing process, but most importantly for all of you. Um mental health is, as we know, um a difficult thing to navigate for ourselves and for each other. And the bottom line is I just hope that if you're struggling, you seek help, you tell a friend, it's not weakness, it's strength. Um and if you know somebody who's struggling, or if you don't, right? Like if the that person that's always happy, or the person that seems tough, or what have you, reach out to them and just check in because you just never know. But you are enough, you have value, and I just hope that you never ever give up. Enjoy the episode. Welcome back, everybody. Thanks for being here with us today. Hello, my friends Karen and Scott. Good to see you today.

Scott McGohan: 1:47

Nice to be with you as well.

Karen Benoy Preston: 1:50

It's always a pleasure. I'm excited about what's on our hearts today.

Wendy Roop: 1:55

Yeah. Yeah, before we uh we hit record today, we were just talking about what we were going to talk about. And um, oh I just feel like it's the topic that is important for us to to just dive into. And and I know it's on all of our hearts in different ways, really is just around mental health. And uh I think it came up for me for a couple of reasons, and and I'm just gonna already do the disclaimer. Anyone watching us on YouTube? Okay, I ugly cry, so that may be happening today. Okay, and last episode. I know. So who knows? Just bring your tissues, that's all. We're just you know, you just gotta bring your tissues. That's okay. I mean, we're just all family here, right? So um, but the reason that is heavy on my heart really are for two reasons. One, tomorrow marks the 12th anniversary of um Mark, who is the you know, my kids, my kid's dad, and I was married to him for 17 years. And um and so tomorrow's 12 years, uh, where he died by suicide. And um, and then the other reason is I've been struggling myself. I just have to admit it. I have really been struggling. And I feel like I'm a little bit on, you know, kind of that upswing. But I was telling somebody the other day, um I feel like sometimes God puts us, like God allows this feeling, um, so we can be more empathetic to those who struggle with it on a regular basis. And um I just get it more. Like I get it more. And it's uh it can be a scary place to be. Um, and I'm so super thankful for my faith and my family and my friends, and my just, you know, who and and not that anybody can necessarily pull you out of it. Um, but I know I have people who believe in me. And I know have a I know how I have a God who, you know, who believes in me. So that's kind of a heavy way to start this episode. But I just had to share, yeah, what was on my heart.

Scott McGohan: 4:44

Yeah, but it's so it's just so honest.

Karen Benoy Preston: 4:47

Yeah. Remember, we talk so much about authenticity, and I think that's the key here is the more vulnerable you can be without demonstrating weakness, when you talk about empathy, it's also giving that permission for everyone else to feel.

Wendy Roop: 5:06

Yeah.

Karen Benoy Preston: 5:06

Whether it's for themselves or for you. It's that really deep-rooted compassion. Yeah.

Scott McGohan: 5:16

You know, the one thing that I do that that I appreciate is I was listening to you, and you know, even when you taught like like even the way you just honored Mark. You honored Mark and saying that he was like your kid's dad. And I was married to him for 17 years. You could have said that differently. But you didn't. Because you're just such a you're just such a beautiful person. And it is just um if you think about, you know, where he was and where he went and where you are right now, like my body is so tense right now. Um, I just need to like let it go a little bit.

Karen Benoy Preston: 6:07

Breathe it out, breathe it out, breathe it out.

Scott McGohan: 6:09

Yeah, man. Um, and and I appreciate you just being open um um uh about that. Because I've watched you, you know, I've watched you go through that, and I've watched you be an incredibly brave uh woman, an incredibly brave mom. My dog is now barking. Can you hear my dog bringing on in? My dog is barking.

Wendy Roop: 6:36

That's how you know you get an authentic, you know, you have an authentic group and podcast. 100% dogs barking in the background.

Scott McGohan: 6:43

He is he is not happy right now. I know what he was what he's going after, but I've I've watched you go through all that stuff and take care of your kids and everything and what you did at McGill and Braybender, and and then uh, you know, in that and my big question is as you took care of everyone, like how'd you take care of Wendy?

Wendy Roop: 7:05

Yeah, you know, I think that I've learned a lot about that over the years. Um, and again, it's we were talking about this earlier with regard to something else, but sometimes like you don't know what you don't know until after you kind of get through part of it and and then you look back. And the way I took care of of myself really was by taking care of my kids, right? Like I was okay if they were okay, and they were okay if I was okay. And and again, I'm thankful for the tools that I had to reach back to. Um the people I have to reach back to. Um, but I just went. Like, I don't know how else to describe it. Like I just kept moving forward. And I think that's where the whole, you know, you hear me talk about space and grace, and I'm sporting it today, people. Space and grace. There you go. But I I I know that's where that was born from was because you know, it's never really been in my DNA to stop anyway. But like I just went full flop, how do you say that, full throttle, you know, ahead. Um knowing that I, you know, my job was to just make sure my kids were okay. And, you know, and I also know the importance of exercise and eating right, and you know, all of those things make a make a big difference. And I knew I had people in my life too that if I started going down a dark path or whatever, that I know that they'd be tapping me on the shoulder saying, you know, what's what's going on? And and I don't take that for granted because there are so many people I know that don't have that. And just incredibly supportive parents and brothers and just you know, family and friends. Um, but along the way, uh, you know, I think uh I don't know, it was probably only a few years ago, honestly, maybe max five, where I started really noticing that, gosh, I like took a pause in making sure that I was working through what I needed to work through. Part of what triggered that was I got married again. Um and and so, you know, as Andy and I were building our relationship and you know, we were married, um, you know, things started showing up that I I was like, okay, yeah, there's some things that I haven't dealt with here, you know. And so that's when I got back into um therapy. Um, I had gone to therapy up until uh Mark uh had died by suicide. Um, but I stopped um after it happened because again, my focus was on the kids. I tried to, I did take them, but they just weren't ready. You can't force anybody to, especially talk therapy that doesn't work, I have found with trauma. Um, but I really found that um, you know, going back to therapy uh was was critical because I needed to figure out like why I was feeling the way that I was feeling and processing all the thoughts that I had going on and so forth. I actually went to equine therapy, uh trauma therapy. So it's just funny that we had Lisa, you know, Arian, um, and what she does with horses, and it, and you know, it was so um, yeah. So since then, uh, you know, I have just been, and I and I don't know if I've mentioned on this podcast, but you know, one of the probably life-changing uh things for me that I a resource that I leaned into was I had heard, I think through therapy called uh the body keeps the score. And uh this book just um really helped to normalize my feelings instead of making me feel like something was wrong with me or I was crazy or what have you. I was just noticing every time this time of year, um, that I just was not well. Um, and I mean that in mentally, physically, and emotionally. And it and those who know me well know that the first thing that I'll do in those instances is start beating myself up. Uh, because I'm supposed to be the strong one, I'm supposed to be the happy one, I'm supposed to be the one that lifts everybody else up. And so when I don't feel well, um it really, huh, that just kind of hit me. Uh-huh. It really kind of takes my value away, right? Like that's where I put my value. So if that's gone, you know. So, yeah. So I leaned into that and I just learned so much that our body takes all of that in, that being whatever, you know, you're dealing with from trauma. And there's so much more to the story than just, I say just, but there's so much more to the story than just the suicide. And so all of that leading up to that, you know, stored in my body. And so I've just been learning how to navigate that. And this year, ironically enough, being 12 years later, and I think that's what I would love for people to hear too, doesn't matter if it's six months or 20 years, you don't know how you're going to react when you when you're dealing with, you know, healing from trauma. And so 12 years later, I found myself feeling worse than I felt in a very long time. And um part of it, I think I've discovered is like I wasn't exercising as much as I usually, because my schedule is just so full, and I wasn't exercising like I usually do. And I think that makes a big difference. Um, but yeah, just mind, body, and spirit, not in the place that uh that I I typically am. So that was a long-winded answer to your question, Scott. But thanks for letting me process through that. This is my therapy, I think.

Karen Benoy Preston: 14:18

I would say that as we are not necessarily here to be therapists, but rather as the coach and friend, one question that comes up to me would be what do you think is different? What what might be different this year? Other than you've mentioned, you know, working out and a lot of other things, right? Maybe some other external things. But when you've done when you did it and you went through this time well. To lean back into that, what would that look like? To get to to have the non-negotiable exercise. What would that look like?

Wendy Roop: 15:18

Um well, I have a couple things coming up for me, and that and but then I want to lean back into your question and gain a little bit more clarity. But uh, because you asked me, you know, what is different this time. Um, you know, uh, as I think about it, that you know, there so my daughter, I don't think she'll mind me sharing this because I mean it's gonna be happening soon. But my daughter Madison is gonna be having her first baby and my first grandchild. Um hopefully the middle, she hopes, right? To the middle or end of December. Um and so I know that you know, every time you go through, and it's not that I I think about these things. I'm like, oh, I'm so sad because you know, Mark, Mark won't be here to see his first grandchild. It's not like I'm processing that, but it is a part of it, right? So while there's such joy in that, that's why I say a lot, grow joy and grief can coexist because they do when we allow them to, right? Um, but you know, Andy lost his mom. Um, you know, there have just been a lot of things that I think have also added to it. Um, and now I want to lean into the other side of your question.

Karen Benoy Preston: 16:40

So what is what is where those successful times have been for you to get through these difficult weeks in the past. Yeah. You mentioned a few things that were key. How do you get back to that?

Wendy Roop: 16:57

Yeah. Um I think it's it's uh yeah, and I hope I hope our listeners kind of lean into this too because you know it's it has to do with boundaries and taking control of what schedule I need for me right now versus you know me do, you know, saying yes to everything at a time where I probably need, I do need to give myself more space and grace. Right. And so, well, one, when you're building a business, um, you know, it's hard to hard to do that and allow yourself that. Um, but also just my personality. I don't want to disappoint anybody and I don't I don't like to say no. Um but I think it is giving giving myself that space and creating boundaries, um, making sure that how is it that I can fit in my exercise because I know how important that is.

Karen Benoy Preston: 18:08

What do you think it's costing you not to have that?

Wendy Roop: 18:14

Um yeah, I mean really my probably my mental health and emotional health, but also just my I mean, of course the physical side, you know, I don't feel my best, I don't feel my best in mind, body, or spirit right now. And I know that's you know, that's a big part of it. And um the other thing I thought of is, you know, asking the question, you know, how have I gotten through this in the past. I think the other thing is back to what I was saying before around leaning into um others, leaning into others, you know, when uh, you know, I do feel so heavy, like knowing it's okay to do that, because where I get myself into trouble, which I feel like probably many people can um connect to this, is when I feel like I need to do it all by myself. Because there is a sense of nobody understands, right? Like uh like and truly like how I, you know, how I'm feeling or how difficult it is when you kind of get your brain, your your mind, you know, in those, um, as we say, those lower levels of energy. And I know exactly where I am. And I, you know, uh, and I and and it's and it's a struggle. And so I think there's an embarrassment about it, there's a shame about it, there's uh yeah, especially with what I do.

Karen Benoy Preston: 20:05

You just said something that super struck me. Nobody understands, and I would venture to say that every one of us who've ever felt that low, helpless, and hopeless would feel that nobody else understands. Yeah, and that hit me because there is something, there's an absolute truth in that, Wendy. No one does understand, yeah, no one can understand how you feel in this moment, right? Which made me then think, okay, well, if nobody, if the truth is that no one else could understand how I'm thinking and feeling right now, then why would I need anyone else to understand if I am the only one that understands? What do I need to do about that understanding? Because I am the only one that can control that. What do I need? And that's what you're I'm hearing you say is so hard because you're focused on so many others' needs through this. And that's exactly where the whole space in grace peace comes into this. Yeah. Is the importance of giving yourself that understanding because you're right, no one really does understand. You are the only one that can give yourself that to give your permission to sit down and work through that thought, that emotion, and and work through it in a way that makes sense of or not, or accept, or whatever needs to happen in the grace part of that. But the space giving yourself that time and taking taking that really deep, self-compassionate look inward. Because you're absolutely right. It doesn't mean that we don't feel and hurt and understand the thoughts, but how all of it comes together within you, that is so each one of us are in our own little world of those thoughts and feelings, however challenging they might be.

Wendy Roop: 22:09

Yeah, and you know what, as you're talking, Karen, one of the things that's coming up for me too is like, especially because of what our podcast is and culture is an inside job, uh even more so important, even you know what I'm trying to say, even more importantly, whatever, um, why I think it's important for and we think it's important for people to really understand the importance of emotional intelligence and empathy and so forth, because like my logical self and my, you know, I know that people won't understand, don't have to understand, and so forth. But I think it's when, you know, it's needing people to be empathetic, right? And to have that emotional intelligence to learn how to hold the space for somebody who is feeling quote unquote this way. And so, you know, I think just how can we? That's why I love what I do. I hope that, you know, when I coach people and I use some of those skills that then I tell them, I'm like, steal everything, steal everything I'm you I'm doing right now. Um because it just can people just want to be seen and heard. Not, you know, not necessarily completely understood, but when they feel seen and heard, they know that people are at least trying and holding that space for them. So that is. Yeah.

Scott McGohan: 24:13

So, and you're right, there's tons of shame and guilt and silence and and and around that. And I've learned in my own journey in recovery to share my own experience, strength, and hope. I don't have experience in that. I don't have strength in that. You do.

Wendy Roop: 24:32

Yeah.

Scott McGohan: 24:33

And many other people do. And my opinion is if we would talk about that and bring life to that and light to that, that would just it would just give the people the tools and the resources to be able to lift each other up and and and other people up.

Wendy Roop: 24:48

Yeah.

Scott McGohan: 24:49

Because you know, I I like I watch you and I see you around other people, and everybody sees Wendy like as this like optimistic person. I don't know if you remember, you remember Peggy Henschal at MB?

Wendy Roop: 25:01

Yeah.

Scott McGohan: 25:02

She was like you, she was always optimistic. On the back of her chair one day, she said, I'm sorry, I'm not feeling well. Aw. And I was like, Why do you have that on your chair? She goes, Well, I'm always in a good mood. And when people are down, they come up, and like I feel like sometimes I pick people up and I don't feel good today, and I don't want people to think I'm mad. I was like, Oh my gosh. Yeah. And so when you I was when you were talking, I was like, Oh, that's the liability you carry. So it's a it, I don't want to say it's a burden because it's not because it's it it it's a beautiful thing, but I think uh I think and that Karen would agree, it's just like one of those things like, man, like you you gotta give yourself permission to to hurt and just sit in that hurt, right? And just yeah, you've carried your family through that, you've carried your kids through that, you've carried like you you've just carried a lot of people through that.

Karen Benoy Preston: 26:04

May I read your Enneagram thought of the day as a type one? Sure. So it starts out saying average ones. So from an Enneagram perspective, there are healthy ones, there are unhealthy ones, and then there are average ones. So an average one wants their sense of order to rule everything. How true is that for you? Capital T true. Their strict superego is pitted against their feelings and desires, revealing the dualistic nature of their psyches. So there's that strict perfectionistic wanting order because that order is what keeps you safe, keeps you from danger, keeps you from those hard feelings or those things that you're longing for. That's not good enough.

Wendy Roop: 27:10

Yeah, and and I would say, right, like that's my inner critic too, is not good enough, right? And and uh yeah, that is definitely that it's like you know, we all have a superpower, and that superpower can also be our kryptonite.

Karen Benoy Preston: 27:38

You know, oftentimes it is, and so it's learning. We lean on you for order. I talk about all the time, like you this would not be a podcast if it weren't for your order, for your strict ability to stay task focused and to keep us in this guardrail, Scott. And we know you know, if we didn't have these guardrails, me and you, man, squirrel, right? Wendy keeps us in order.

Scott McGohan: 28:08

Oh, I was reading by between the lines.

Wendy Roop: 28:11

I I certainly I was yeah, I uh well, and and on top of that, right? That's why again, understanding personality and understanding people's like you know, you can't judge a book by its cover because you know it's just so I I don't know. I feel like for me, even since you know, talking about me, it's like it feels like an oxymoron. Like I am this optimistic person, but if you knew the things that were happening inside the head, most of the time, like I beat myself up constantly, and and then I beat myself up for beating myself up because you know, I know from a faith perspective that's not what I'm called to do. What I do in my job, that's not what I'm called to do, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And it's like, you know, it's always just trying to be enough first and foremost for myself. And it's ridiculous. So um, but yeah, and then just on top of that, you know, I know Karen can really relate to me on this for sure. It's just, you know, we're both empaths, right? So it's like it's not just being empathetic, it's like where we feel things so deeply. So not only, you know, do you just feel because we're human, so we all feel what's going on in the world, but it is like a superpower, another superpower that again, if you don't learn how to get control of it, could really be hard. So yeah, I just coming back to the reason I, you know, I I've opened up and started talking more about my story, but I think the Side of how I truly feel. It's like I can be, it's it's knowing, right? I can be strong and I am strong. Um, I'm a perseverer, um, I'm a you know, never give up, I'm a and I can also hurt and I can also struggle. And I can also like those things can coexist and that's okay. And yeah, I'm just thankful I have people like you in my life and my family and friends, and because again, not many people, not there are some people who don't have that. And I just want people to know that yeah like it's okay to ask for help, it's okay to share your heart and how you're hurting, and I'm right there with you, just like learning one step at a time that yeah, we don't we don't have to show up as perfect every day.

Karen Benoy Preston: 31:09

Yeah. There's in that empath, I believe that it's the deeper connectedness to something bigger than us, right? It's that knowing with a capital K, that feeling much deeper than just that surface level of thought. Yeah.

Wendy Roop: 31:40

Yeah.

Scott McGohan: 31:40

You know, Wendy, you talk about you know, a lot of people say they committed suicide. And you say died by suicide. Is there a reason why you say that? One versus the other?

Wendy Roop: 31:58

Um recently that's something more recent in the last couple of years that I've learned is that I think it goes really, this is really hard to explain. Um, but it's it's I think it goes back to their mental health. Like, for example, if somebody dies, we don't say they committed cancer, they committed a heart attack, they commit, right? It's like they died by cancer, they died by, and so it's like they're not in their they're just not them, right? And so that I that's the that's the best way I can explain it.

Scott McGohan: 32:43

That is that is very well said. That is very well said. I think, you know, even when we were doing, you know, that that interview for one morning and we were talking about that, and your heart opened up like it has like today. Yeah. And uh I mean, I've seen you in a like a million different spots, and I'm not sure I've ever seen you this like I don't know, raw and I don't want to say sad, but um raw's a really good word.

Wendy Roop: 33:17

Like I I'm a pretty vulnerable person overall. Like I'm pretty I share my heart, but like this deep, the the depths of what I'm feeling, and from uh the yeah, the I'll just say the darkness of what you know that I feel like I've feel and I've been in more so. Um not that I've never experienced this, but it's just been it's been a while since I felt like this. And it does feel raw, Scott. It does feel really, really raw in so many ways.

Scott McGohan: 33:50

Help me help me understand this and and be super honest about this. From the very beginning to right now. Um, just talking about it, just does that make the rawness better or does it make it worse?

Wendy Roop: 34:05

Um you mean you mean from the start of this podcast? Is that what you mean? No, it makes it better. It does, I it makes it better. Yeah.

Scott McGohan: 34:15

So if you're so someone was listening and they're just their butt's falling off and they're just scared and they're just mad and they're pissed and all of those things. And so your advice would just talk to somebody. The last thing you would say is stop talking to yourself about this.

Wendy Roop: 34:32

That's right. That's right. No, it's like, what would I say? I would say, because again, I do so many things to help myself, and sometimes even that it's like like it isn't working. That isn't working, right? But I just think, okay, whatever it is to help you get it out. So journaling, right? Um, crying, screaming, but then talking to someone. Now, I understand from a trauma standpoint, some people cannot talk it through. The reason I'm getting to the point that I can share, and again, I'm just at the beginning stages of sharing my story. I honestly feel like it, but um, but some people can't, and it's because with trauma, talk therapy does not work. And so they have to find things like I did with equine therapy, you know, working with the horses. And so it's, you know, um, it's really like body therapy, finding things that you're doing, and I forget what like what is it, EDMR EMDR, or you know, with the eyes and like you know, all those things. And if you have things that you can formulate a sentence to share what's on your heart or mind, yes, share it because better out than in is what I say. And the more you do it, the more you'll learn how to articulate it. And the more it will normalize um the way you feel because of your story. But it doesn't, you know, it's like normal but not necessary, meaning you don't have to stay in that feeling forever. And that's how you can get out. Like the way you feel now. I've been through this enough to know that I've been the dark, like this is the some of the darkest seasons. But because I've been through that and I've been on the other side, I know it won't last forever, and that's what helps me to keep going. It won't last forever.

Scott McGohan: 36:41

Well said. Well said.

Karen Benoy Preston: 36:43

So there's a part here that I'm just curious about. There is a collective conscience, and that is particularly dark right now around us.

Wendy Roop: 36:57

Yeah.

Karen Benoy Preston: 36:58

And as empaths, there is this significant feeling of some forebodingness about that, and not that we need to get into that specifically, but I think that for those of us who are experiencing that heaviness in the collective conscience, and who have also had significant trauma, you're you would be dealing with more than just the fact that this is a an experience from your past, because you're also feeling like this anticipation of something else. Yeah. And I think it's really hard to separate what is this, what is this thought and what is this feeling, and where is it coming from and why, and and what do I what do I do with that? If I even were to think through it well enough, you know, space and grace. If I did reflect, if I did journal, if I did, you know, where do you put all that? Yeah. But to the point of being able to have someone else there, being more objective, I I I think that's so important. It's just to really be aware of your own subjective perspective around your thoughts and your feelings. And if you, like you say, if you can find a way to get it out of you in some way artistically or expressively, creatively, whatever it might be, written verbal, yeah, with an animal. I don't mean that to sound that sound a little a little nature, nature get out into nature, right? Yeah, experience the beauty of what the way other and other other animals, we as a human being, how other animals communicate and help heal. That's that's a better way of saying that. Yeah, there we go. Yeah. Um, yeah, those are all options to find a way to look at your experience more objectively.

Wendy Roop: 39:20

Yeah, and I think what that reminds me of, you know, just sharing with everyone, and you know, that that's listening to, is so what I'm talking about right now, right? And what I'm what I personally am dealing with right now, like a therapist or a counselor or what have you, is you know, is super important. And which is why when I'm typically in my healthy state, like many other people listening to this, that's why me having a coach is so important, also on a consistent basis, because just on a day-to-day basis, when everything is going quote unquote normal, right? Like having somebody to process through our thoughts and emotions, whether it's at work or personally or what have you. So I think that that's what I hear you saying too, Karen. It's like allowing ourselves to do that. Sometimes that we think, even from coaching, I hear it all the time. People think, well, you know, I thought people had a coach or struggling, or you know, or they're doing bad at work, or they're, you know, or they need a life coach because things don't have to be bad to be it to to want to process or need to process through things that are going on. So so I think just yeah, knowing that it doesn't mean you're weak. It actually means you're strong.

Karen Benoy Preston: 40:45

Yeah. Well, I think the difference there in in therapy and coaching, just as a quick reminder, would be that therapy would go back and figure out where those thoughts came from. Yeah. Coaching meets you where you are and figures out where you want to go. That's right. And there are plenty of excellent therapists that leverage that coaching mindset as well to help get you where you want to be after exploring what caused you to get to where you are now. Yeah. We as coaches are not typically duly certified in that. No. So we do tend to stay away from what caused what what the cause of this and how this came about, but doesn't mean that we can't, you know, help you identify what you want and where what's in your way and help you get there, right? Yeah.

Scott McGohan: 41:43

Yeah, I've heard a lot of great coaches too that like I don't know, if you have a company and you've got a couple of basket cases that you don't have the guts to deal with. Like great coaches, they don't want to deal with they just don't want to deal with it. We're not equipped.

Karen Benoy Preston: 41:59

We're really not equipped. I mean, and we want to help, but certain aspects of that that our responsibility to our profession would say this is this is better for uh someone that's capable of taking you back into where this came from. Yeah, and stay there as long as you need to to absolutely work through it together, you know. There's certainly ways that we partner with these, the, you know, our our therapy counseling community for sure.

Wendy Roop: 42:29

Scott, I I want to just, you know, ask you. I just think this is so appropriate too, with what you're doing with one morning. So how is it that because we all have our way of helping, right? Karen and I as coaches, and um, but with what you're doing with one with one morning, can you share just a little bit about how you can some can support both the employer and the employees to help with those that are struggling with you know mental health and so forth? Like, where do you come in to be able to help make that, I'll just say, easier or yeah.

Scott McGohan: 43:17

Well, I think from the simplest terms, is most organizations have an employee assistance program. And so 90% of employers have those. Um, only 29% of employees know that they exist, and only 5% of those employees actually use it for a number of reasons. Um, and so the first thing is how do you tear all those barriers down? How do you how do you draw those back? And then really one what One Morning does is it brings life to um life on life's terms through storytelling. So it could be like a lot of times people will talk about um you know financial fear, um which they at the end of the day, the truth is who's afraid of their mailbox? Like who's afraid to go get their mail? And and and so instead of like trying to wrap it up in this really pretty Instagram like terminology, why don't we just call a spade a spade? And like, I'm afraid of my mailbox. And then so, and then if I heard somebody in my community tell a story about why they're afraid of my mailbox, or if I heard somebody in my community talk about miscarriage, which is something that nobody talks about in the workforce, the workplace, um, or um, or suicide, um, or um depression, anxiety, postpartum. And so if we can tell like stories and let other people know that they're that they're not alone, and you know, and unfortunately our attention span isn't very long, so we have to do it in like shorts. And then so how do we make that, how do we make that come alive in really beautiful, compelling ways? Because none of us, everybody's going through something. Every single person. And you know, my advice to maybe anybody that's listening, and if if if if somebody is just on your last nerve, is just look at them as like a like a small child. And that person had a dream, a little girl or a little boy, of being somebody, and they're not that person right now. Uh, and you don't have to be the person to remind them that they're not that person, because they know they're not, and just love them, love them where they are, and all what one morning wants to do is that we want to do what God reminded me is that the mirror's a wonderful place to find a friend. And then when I found myself and found a relationship with myself, then I was allowed to give away what I never had, and I never had love for myself, and now I can give it away to others. So thanks for asking.

Wendy Roop: 46:11

Thank you, Scott. That's beautiful. I love it. And I beautiful. I feel like I'd like to maybe wrap up with this. Um first of all, thank you two for holding the space for me today. This is the most I've ever probably shared about, you know, not just my story, but just how I can feel sometimes. And I really appreciate you holding that space for me. Um and I think if, you know, if I were to ask, and if we were to ask, you know, our listeners to go inside, I think it's just like, you know, what do you have on your heart and mind right now? And what are you hurting from? And who can you share that with? Like, how can you allow yourself that space and grace and to know that you will get on the other side and asking for help is strength and not a weakness. And then and then the other thing is you know, coming up on this 12 years tomorrow, you know, I just want to say how grateful I am for just all the people in my life, friends and family, and my faith again, you know, help who have helped me get through all these years, and my kids and and to my kids, you are freaking amazing. And I don't know that they listen to these uh episodes, but maybe someday they will. And I just want them to know that I am so, so super proud of them and everything that they've gotten through. And they are going to be able to use their story in big ways someday. And I just pray that they continue to take care of themselves in the way that they need to, also, and that God puts people in their life to help them do so. But with that, thank you for listening to my tears and my heart this morning or today. I don't know what time you're listening to this podcast. But thank you, Scott and Karen, and until next time. We'll see you later. We love you, Wendy. Love you.