Karen Preston: 0:00

So what's the difference, you said about a coach and a boss? Trust, trust that you have the answers. That's a coach. Coach's role is to trust that you have the answers. And so Bob trusted that if I didn't have the answers, he trusted that I'd figure it out.

Scott McGohan: 0:19

Welcome back to Culture is an Inside Job. Hey friends, good to see you, scott. Karen Wendy, it's a see you, scott.

Wendy Roop: 0:25

Karen Wendy yes, it's a great day.

Karen Preston: 0:28

Scott Wendy, yes.

Wendy Roop: 0:31

And today is all about Karen.

Karen Preston: 0:33

Yes.

Scott McGohan: 0:34

Yay, yeah, We've already been.

Scott McGohan: 0:36

You know being goofy with each other before we hit the record button. So that's always fun. Hit the record button, so that's always fun. But yeah, we thought we've spent. You know, in the very beginning, when we started recording these episodes for this podcast, of course we all shared a little bit about ourselves, but as we've been going along, we really set a foundation for um, you know, kind of like why we do this podcast culture is an an Inside Job. So we've been talking a lot about the importance of self-awareness and we've shared some tools. And then we dove in. Scott's got this amazing book Culture is an Inside Job. And so we spent some time with Scott, asking him about his career, his book, and so then we thought we will turn the tides on Karen, I don't have a book, not yet.

Wendy Roop: 1:32

That is a good point. You know, I had to actually go to therapy before this episode because I thought it was all about me always what happened? I'm kidding.

Karen Preston: 1:42

We will turn it around. So it is still about you, scott, don't you worry.

Wendy Roop: 1:45

Yes, Well, both of you guys, both of you love coaching so much and you're involved in it, and you know I'm not sure, maybe you do know, but I'm not sure you really understand the impact that you have on people, and not only like the impact that you have on the individual, but the impact that you have on the lives that an individual interacts with every single day. So thanks for touching the lives of people in profound ways. It matters and it makes a difference.

Scott McGohan: 2:14

Thank you.

Karen Preston: 2:14

Scott, thank you. Yeah, I think you're right. It's hard to sit in this and see the impact, but the effect that can be, so the ripple effect, right.

Scott McGohan: 2:31

Yeah, the impact right, and Karen and I talk about that a lot. Just how you know, we are holding the space for so many people, you know, on a regular basis, and we love it. It's what we do and it's like okay remembering to make sure that we hold that space for ourselves too, and that's a whole nother episode, right, Right?

Karen Preston: 2:54

here in my post that take time to do it for me. Yes.

Scott McGohan: 2:58

Yeah, we were talking about that a week or two ago, yeah, so.

Karen Preston: 3:02

I haven't gotten any better, by the way.

Scott McGohan: 3:04

Well, one step at a time, that's what I one step. So let's jump in to get to know a little bit more about you. Karen. Sure thing yeah, just what do you want our listeners to know about you? Just you know personally, professionally, and then of course I'm sure everybody's really interested in you, know why you chose coaching and kind of how you became a leadership coach. So whatever's on your heart to share around that.

Karen Preston: 3:38

So, as Scott asked, I go back to my childhood. I guess it really kind of does start back there, back in North Cackalacky, carolina. Otherwise, oh okay, I was like Cackalacky. We lived on a golf course and in between everybody's houses there was, there were these vacant lots and we would go and and take our whatever we could find to blaze some trails. We had dirt bikes, we had go-karts, you know whatever it might have been to go and and and create and pioneer, I guess right.

Karen Preston: 4:24

So that that is a resonating theme for me even now, today, how blazing trails and and pioneering. And I didn't really understand the value of that until more recently because we, we just took it for granted, you know, when you're a kid and you're outside, and we just took it for granted, you know when you're a kid and you're outside and back in the day, of course, because kids don't do that anymore. But climbing trees and just your neighborhood was your. It didn't matter, everybody was all. No, it didn't matter about your ages, you just all hung together and you took care of each other and you learned from each other. And you came home when you were hungry or need to use the bathroom, right, and you learn from each other and you came home when you were hungry or need to use the bathroom right, but the go ahead.

Wendy Roop: 5:15

Let me ask you a question. So like I love that, so were you a dirt bike girl?

Karen Preston: 5:17

go-kart girl, dirt bike, all of it. I had both.

Wendy Roop: 5:19

Do you had both Seriously Okay. So how many like in your group? I'll call it like Karen's posse, right? So you're just, I love this Like I would never have imagined this. So thanks for bringing life to this. So how many? How many? How my age group?

Karen Preston: 5:36

there were probably about six or seven of us Most of us like four or five of us girls, and then a couple boys, and then my younger brother and his posse, although they were five years younger, but they would hang around, who was the craziest one?

Karen Preston: 6:02

The craziest one, uh, craziest one. Well, I think one of my guy friends who did uh without mentioning names really did uh, so so the biggest story here is that we're not allowed to ride motorcycles on the street, right, and we did all the time, and my mother would come in her station wagon and try to find me because she would know that she would find me on the street, and my friend and I I was the actually only one that had a motorcycle at the time. Everybody else had either bicycles or go-karts, so my motorcycle was the hot thing, right, and you're not really allowed to ride them up course on the golf course either, and we did that as well. So they would chase us with their little cushmans and we'd get in trouble all the time.

Karen Preston: 6:57

Yes, so I probably was a bit of a rebel rouser in that and that that my friend and I would, you know, constantly be testing that with you know, but we were all still very respectful of uh, each other and each other's homes and our uh, just the, even the golf course in general. It was our backyard, it was our, it was our, you know, it was our playground, it was where we learned things, it was our playground. It was where we learned things. It was where we yeah, just, and we were all really good kids, so I feel good about that.

Wendy Roop: 7:30

Yeah, I miss those. Um thanks. Thanks for talking about that Cause. Like it's just those ornery right Like not, not bad, not terrible, not nasty, not mean, not manipulative, just orneryy. Um really curious summer days in a creek, dirt in the woods and all of that really just kind of cool stuff.

Karen Preston: 7:55

So yeah, we had this really cool area that had, um, had a, uh, there was a dam right behind my house and, uh, a tree had fallen across. Of course you had to go over to get to the Island and it was just. It was. It was one of those out of you know, kind of a scene out of the movie and that was where we you know you're not allowed to go down there, kids, but we would always find a way to be down there, um, so I think why that's such a huge aspect of where I am right now is the fearlessness of it, the interest in creating and finding new places, and Wendy knows this.

Karen Preston: 8:39

Last year my word of the year was pivot year. My, my word of the year was pivot and I think it was such a really important word for me at that point in time. And trying to really think about how, when we're in the middle of change and everybody right now feels like change, change and it's a buzzword right, change management, trying to undergo change, organizations all over the place, you know, reductions in force. Just shifting is not. It's become very costly, it's become very traumatic and change is hard. People don't want to have to go through change.

Karen Preston: 9:16

There's a huge level of resistance right now around the world, and so I was thinking about how, if we didn't like what would be a better way to go through this, and that would be to reflect, to get the information that we need so that we can pivot. And that means we're doing it a little faster, we're doing it a little more regularly, more often. So this year my word was pioneer, and that was really because I can't. You know, this goes back to who I serve, and so I'm kind of jumping ahead, probably, with some of your questions, but the idea here is is we might see something and we, as leaders, regardless of whether we lead other people, we are still a leader and and and push through fearlessly on the road that you see ahead for yourself, for those around you. That's that piece of pioneering, and I guess it comes back to just my natural instinct, I guess, of interest in that love that.

Wendy Roop: 10:23

Yeah, Well, I think growing up on a dirt bike is a cool way to grow up.

Scott McGohan: 10:30

I all of that too, because we do just well, we learn so much, but we we see where the parallels are, or and right, we also remind ourselves about who we really are and who we have inside of us. I'm like for you, you know, when you said blazing some trails, pioneer, like I heard adventure in that right, I heard a lot of curiosity and then that whole just being willing, even when you're a kid talking about some of those things, that is pivoting right, like just doing, and then a fearlessness, and so sometimes we forget that we have those things within us and so we have to remind ourselves who we truly are and that we still have that inner child in us and it's, you know, okay to let her out yeah, channel that right yeah, definitely channel it, so okay.

Karen Preston: 11:46

So anything else about, uh, when you were, you know, just you personally that's important to share, or growing up, or anything you want the listeners to know about you uh, family was very important to me and interestingly, I think it was a very innate thing, and that because I didn't really have a ton of family around me, but we would travel to family. So, being in North Carolina, my great-grandparents lived in Lynchburg, virginia, so we would go to see them as often as possible. It was like a three-hour trip. Um, my grandmother was about a half hour away.

Karen Preston: 12:27

Some of my cousins you know cousins may have been like three hours away, but I just felt there was a disconnect there because we didn't have them close by and there was something important in me about that. And so when I came to New Jersey for the first time, I saw exactly the family dynamic that I knew that I innately needed. I was drawn to. Let's just say Small town, big family, lots of Irish Catholic, lots of Italian Catholic, lots of strong Jewish communities, just really family, family first right. And so that stuck out to me and that was you know a very pivotal moment in my life.

Karen Preston: 13:18

After graduating college, I'm like I'm going to Jersey and everybody's like, what Jersey wants to move to North Carolina? Why would you be? And I'm like, what Jersey wants to move to North Carolina, why would you be? And I'm like, well, I'm the rebel rouser. I guess I'm the blazing of the trails here, so let's pioneer something new. But here I am.

Wendy Roop: 13:39

You felt more of a family connection in New Jersey versus North Carolina.

Karen Preston: 13:44

Yeah, 100%.

Wendy Roop: 13:46

Wow, that's interesting.

Karen Preston: 13:49

Yeah, still do to this day, and it isn't because of my family my mom, dad and brother it's really because of the really small town feel with the big family roots. As a matter of fact, yesterday we just had a really great day in our community. It's the second annual Porch Fest, exactly what it sounds like. Maybe 12 different local bands all come together across the inner part of our town, which is what we call Frailed Borough, and everybody kind of walks. So it's not like you're you know, it's not like you're far away. So, uh, 10 or so different bands all set up along a few different streets and you just kind of bring your family and your, you know, wag the wagon with your kids and cocktails, whatever it might have been. Um Gorgeous day and just family, you know, huge family presence, getting to kiss everybody, hug.

Karen Preston: 14:52

People that you haven't seen listen to some great music. And I don't know if you know this, but this really is one of the hometowns of one of the greatest musicians of our time and that's Bruce Springsteen. Not that we're here to talk about Bruce, but there's a lot of other music that you know he inspired in this area. So they really it was kind of cool to watch all these guys, like just be how. It's a hub of really great musicians in this area, so anyway, that's, it's the family thing, yeah, but I wish that my parents would have come here, because it would be great for them to be a part of this.

Karen Preston: 15:37

That that's okay. Yeah, family, that was important love that, so Love that.

Scott McGohan: 15:47

So what? What led you to being a coach?

Karen Preston: 15:51

How did you get there? Words were efficiency and effectiveness and taught as well as probably learned as well as a part of me. I started working right away for a one of the largest prominent american lingerie and beauty retailers. Started out as a manager before I'd even graduated college, so there was a lot of toxicity in that kind of culture that we don't need to get into but everybody's aware of aware of so, as I, as I worked through some of that and realized how deeply, you know, traumatizing it can be for us as women in this community.

Karen Preston: 17:04

You know, like wanting to make a better, like whether it's, you know, getting on the corporate ladder and moving up or having more influence as a manager. Either way, there was just so much going on that I was so blind to and as I started to see just that, that culture, it started to become very. There was no way I could pioneer anywhere in here, right, there was no voice here that was going to resonate, not going to compete with this huge corporate aspect. So, shortly after being in retail for I don't know five or six years, I transitioned, luckily, to an organization where we took care of employee benefits and I worked for a small boutique brokerage. Where we were, I was really his right arm. He was, you know, a boss, a mentor, a father figure, a coach just one of the greatest experiences I could have ever asked for, and I think I've probably mentioned this before on one of the prior podcasts. But that to me was the moment, very, very pivotal moment in my life that I realized that if this is what, this is what anyone would want. This is what everyone wants. This kind of culture, this kind of feeling like you belong, right, that's what that's all, that's all we want to belong. And how he created that for for me, uh, having be able to go home to buy three girls when I needed to, when I wanted to, without a question, if I wanted to work part-time, if I wanted to work full-time, if I wanted to hire someone else, no matter what, it was just this tremendous amount of trust and respect there. So when we were down winding the business, I did go and start working for us another brokerage, because I was like all right, I'll see if maybe it's the insurance industry that I want to keep playing in.

Karen Preston: 19:19

After three months I'm like hail to the no, no, no, no. And so that night I remember it was my, it was my like third month anniversary and I were. I was like this isn't working out. And so I went home and one of my dear friends and I sat down with a glass of wine. She goes you know, you'd make a really great life coach. I'm like what's that? The next day I looked up and did some research and have not looked back. I signed up for IPEC the next day and here I am. So I think, seeing the importance of being able to help individuals and their teams, that they sit in traverse some of that challenge and ick, that was to me like I think I can help because I know what really healthy culture looks like, I know what toxic culture looks like and I know what really healthy culture looks like.

Scott McGohan: 20:26

Yeah, and I can just well, obviously I can see and feel and hear your emotion from all of that, and a lot of that is because you did get to experience what a really good leader is, right and and a healthy culture, and it is.

Scott McGohan: 20:44

I mean, I have chills thinking about it now just because I've got to experience the same thing, and so I can feel that from you. It's like you had someone who supported you and helped you to grow and helped you to be the leader that you wanted to be, right, and and so then the opportunity to be able to support other leaders and tell me if I'm wrong here Right, but from both, from the perspective of you being able to support other leaders to show up as their most authentic self and make and make a bigger difference in the world, quite frankly, make a bigger difference in the world, quite frankly and and to help them know that if they don't have that like they have a choice right, they can, still they can. They can get the support, excuse me, and and and and they get to make a choice, in kind, of the environment they put themselves in.

Karen Preston: 21:44

I see a lot of that, a lot of them feeling like they don't make a choice in kind of the environment they put themselves in. I see a lot of that, a lot of them feeling like they don't have a choice.

Wendy Roop: 21:51

Yes, what's Bob's last name?

Karen Preston: 21:55

Goldsmith.

Wendy Roop: 21:57

What was the name of his firm?

Karen Preston: 21:58

We were called Benefit Planning Group.

Wendy Roop: 22:01

Gotcha, you know what you said. You brought that up. I've never heard that story and I never knew.

Karen Preston: 22:05

that's the space you came from, now yeah, you and I are cut from the same cloth yes, we're like what do you?

Wendy Roop: 22:12

what do you, what do you call spirit?

Karen Preston: 22:15

animals. Yes, yes, yeah. What would your spirit animal be?

Wendy Roop: 22:19

mine it well, I would say. Society might think I was a hyena, but maybe I'd like to think I'm more of like a koala bear.

Karen Preston: 22:27

Oh, I love that. I have my little koala bear right there. So see, we are cut from the same cloth. Yep, yeah, bob. Bob was just, I don't know. You know it was divine.

Wendy Roop: 22:43

I see you get, I mean, obviously you know, you you're, you've got a lot of emotion, you've got a lot of compassion and you had just what I, what I sense, is like all these wonderful, terrific memories that you have about this, this person, and the way that he allowed you to raise your daughters and yourself, and all of those things and, and so what I think is you know, is you know what you're trying to do is maybe help other people try to like find that in their, you know, in their world, and if you think about what's the difference between a boss and a coach?

Karen Preston: 23:21

Great question. So a a boss typically would be more command and control. Perhaps a boss could be well, a boss could still be just as much of a coach. But I think that our society, especially here in our Western culture probably just America let's rule out Canada, because they've got some, they're very kind, we have some problems here has the go, go, go, push, push, push and and results are very results of the primary aspect of it, of an, you know, corporate America basically, and I came into that organization and I'll tell you I was ready to scale that organization. I was, I was ready to. You know what? What do I need to do? How do I let's do some sales and marketing.

Karen Preston: 24:32

I mean, I had just come from a sales environment, right, and he kept having to quell me and that and he's like Karen, we don't need to do that. I'm not interested in selling, I'm not interested in growing, I I'm not interested in growing. I have everything right here that I need with these couple of large firms and I want to stay in this little boutique space. I want to be able to to to provide them with this kind of service and I got used to that without having to go and and pound any pavement or make any calls. And it was because of the level of respect that he had with his HRBPs and the insurance carriers that we worked with and that is the model that I started to adopt. And it wasn't about growing, it wasn't about marketing, it was really about that human experience of just taking care of what needed to be taken care of right here and there, and and he did it with exemplary, uh, expertise.

Karen Preston: 25:37

And I mean just my love of spreadsheets, I don't know, I don't, I just love spreadsheets and he loved that. I love spreadsheets. So anything he needed me, I love spreadsheets. So anything he needed me to do, he handed me. I'm not even sure what your question was. What was your question? I'm like, I'm like on a tangent yeah, so what's the difference you said about a coach and a boss? Trust, trust that you have the answers. That's a coach. Coach's role is to trust that you have the answers. And so Bob trusted that I. If I didn't have the answers, he trusted that I'd figure it out. But I did have to go and pioneer a lot of my own figuring it out and he gave me. I didn't even have a leash, so he just trusted that I'd figure it out.

Wendy Roop: 26:28

Yeah, yeah because I think one of the things too, and I'm sorry, Wendy.

Scott McGohan: 26:35

No, I can tell you another question.

Wendy Roop: 26:39

No, I think what's really interesting, too, is just the gratitude that you have by finding this incredible leader.

Wendy Roop: 26:47

But secondarily, I think, would be the fact that, in my experience, a coach has a lot of experience Like a coach normally, and I'm thinking more of like sports today, right so, like your baseball coach, your volleyball coach, your football coach, your tennis coach, golf coach, all that They've played the sport, right so they played the game.

Wendy Roop: 27:10

They understand the ups and downs. They understand, like you said, pivot, right so the physical movement. They also understand what's going on up here in regards to coaching, and they're built to train with you in that job is to inspire and encourage and to bring out what is most often already there, hidden deep inside the droves. Um, because when, when I think about you, were working with him and emotionally where you are right now, if you wouldn't have gone to that first place, right, you wouldn't have this example of what toxicity looks like and you know, womanize, like all of those, just that skunky, horrible stuff, and so you have that reference point. And then, if he still would have been in the business and wouldn't have sold, like my gut tells me, you probably still be there, right?

Karen Preston: 28:13

You probably Like my gut tells me you probably still be there, right you probably would we had talked about.

Karen Preston: 28:16

Well, here's the thing is that we had talked about at one point, maybe me taking over that business, but really it was a relationship business and so it wasn't. I was not the one that had had that relationship, while I had great relationships with everyone, it was really him that had that relationship. So it was a retiring thing. He didn't sell the business, he downwind the business, and so, because it was a perfect timing for him, it was a perfect timing for me to not have that as a crutch. I wasn't really interested in the insurance industry. I mean, felt like I was very knowledgeable about it, totally learned how to navigate the whole inner workings of a, of a organization. You know a small company. I was a COO, cfo, cmo, name it. Yeah, um, so I, I would definitely, uh, yeah, I just it was just one of those moments where I didn't I realized that it was time for me to figure out what would make me, make my heart sing, and a perfect opportunity it was.

Scott McGohan: 29:49

Yeah, um, again, like Scott said, I can just feel your gratitude and so forth and thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your heart, um, about that experience, and I love how all that kind of led you to exactly where you're meant to be, right like that path that you're meant to take. And I'm curious about that too. Tell me more. Tell us more, right About when you think about coaching and leadership and culture. What are you most passionate about? Yeah, think of those things.

Karen Preston: 30:34

Yeah, what do you think of those things? I see so many leaders sitting in a role where they're waiting for an invitation or they're struggling to try to figure out how to ask permission because they see something or they feel something. There's an inner knowing or they feel something. There's an inner knowing and it's like, okay, go get your tools to go blaze the trail. That's all I can see. I'm just like you don't need permission, don't wait for an invitation. What do you need to pioneer in order to create the change, to pivot, to tweak what needs to be tweaked? What's the information, what's the data that you have? And I'm that's just. I think that's one of those places. That is just.

Karen Preston: 31:27

My natural sweet spot is to really empower those leaders to find their voice, to not need to wait for leaders to come and bring them the opportunity for them to go and continue to seek that opportunity. Find their truth, find what makes their heart sing. Um, lean on their strength for sure, recognize the things that they're not as great about and, whether they find someone else to to, you know, delegate that to great or lean into it to learn. But really think about what is it that makes your heart sing, what is it that makes you most most? You know that you can't wait to do again and find a way to to bring that into every day. Yeah, because there's something that's energizing about them right oh, so energized and, to your point, so needed.

Scott McGohan: 32:25

Like there there are so many people in general, um, that just need someone to hold that space for them, for them to really kind of identify with that. And, speaking of what makes your heart sing, what does make your heart sing as a coach?

Karen Preston: 32:55

been taught as coaches that it's not about us, right, you're not supposed to say we're proud of you and things like that. But there are so many moments where, watching that transformation, you can't help but just feel like so joyous for them finally having those ahas and having that realization of truth within them, that really, that you, you know such change that they've had to, that you know holding that space for them, for that transformation yeah, yeah, finding that capital t truth right within them and who they are, and so, um, just digging, keep digging in a little bit deeper.

Scott McGohan: 33:36

for you as a coach, what do you feel like your sweet spot is, as we know, especially right, there are so many people who are coaches or, you know, say I'm a coach or what have you, and they focus on different things and so forth. But when you think of you as a coach, what? What's your sweet spot?

Karen Preston: 34:00

so this goes back to my struggle after certifying and you know, we're all supposed to find a niche and I was struggling and at the same time, I was in a peer group with we were in a mastermind group with other coaching peers and there was this very strong, keen awareness of when people were in a values challenge. And you're probably like well, what's the values challenge? So, any kind of a, any challenge, any kind of struggle, any kind of conflict, my first question would have been to ask well, what is the value that's being challenged? And the more that I did that, the more I could see transformation start to occur. And when my mentor coach at the time and I'm like I'll never figure out my niche she's like you know, Karen, it doesn't have to be about, it doesn't always have to be the who, it could be about a what. So if you thought, what is it like, you just asked me what's your sweet spot? So she's like what is it that you love more than anything? Now, she knew the answer to this already, but I was blind, Right. So I was like, oh, values. And she's like yeah, no, what would you like to do with that? I'm like I don't know. She's like well, think about, if you're that thought leader around values, what would that look like? What do you need to kind of explore and do some research around or whatever?

Karen Preston: 35:38

So I got, I got to work pretty much right away on building a case study, created an assessment, tweaked it, pivoted quite a few times, enlisted several good coaches to come and kind of play in that space with me to see you know how does this work? Is this was it? You know how powerful is this, how transformational is this? And I finally got to a point where I really liked what I was doing. So then I created a certification for other coaches, had a really strong group of affiliate coaches that supported me through that as well, and so my sweet spot really is values. But then all of a sudden one day I realized that after about four years of doing all this research and creating that, I was broke. So I had to go figure out how to make some money now and I needed to just go and coach. So that put me into the space of sitting on several different coaching platforms.

Scott McGohan: 36:49

Yeah, talk about coaching experience.

Karen Preston: 36:53

Yes, yes, yes.

Karen Preston: 36:55

It is very, very tremendous amount of gratitude for the coaching hours that I was able to get through those few years. But yet here I am in this space of really trying to figure out what does this next pivot look like for me around values? So yeah, that's kind of where I I am. I'm in the middle of a tweak. Yep, and we pivot right. Pivots and tweaks. Yeah, pivot and pioneer, pause, that's it. It's pause first, right like pause, pause, pivot and pioneer. Pause, pivot and pioneer. You Pause, pivot and pioneer. You got to pause to get the data. What do you need to know?

Wendy Roop: 37:40

How do?

Karen Preston: 37:40

you pivot? Why would you pivot? What do you need to pivot toward and then just go do it, pioneer it.

Scott McGohan: 37:48

Hey Scott, I'm curious from your perspective when Karen talks about values and how she saw, and how you know she saw, the importance of working with leaders on that, how valuable is that Right? Do you, from your perspective, as far as, if you know, having a coach, let's say, work with the leaders that you used to work with at McGowan, braybender? What's the leaders that you used to work with at McGill and Braybender? What's the value that comes from that, when somebody can dive into their values? I think that's my question. What's the value of a leader being able to dive into their values?

Wendy Roop: 38:27

Yeah, well, I think from the first part. I think there's a lot of people that might be listening, thinking that I have to be broken to get a coach and that's a lie. You don't have to be broken, although there is beauty in recognizing that all of us are broken and that's where when everything unleashes. But you don't need to be fit. Matter of fact, if your company is telling you need to be fixed, great coaches will say I'm not a janitor and I'm not a fixer I'm out right, coaches will say I'm not a janitor and I'm not a fixer.

Scott McGohan: 38:55

Right, yeah.

Wendy Roop: 38:55

So so that is so. No one's willing to coach you. Um, there's one common denominator It'd be you, so you're in a problem, so let me just set that aside. So, if you're listening, hey, um, but, and then I you asked the question, and it's actually, I think, really interesting too, cause it's probably where a coach would start right Is in deep understanding of of you. And I know, when I first got a coach, my coach was Pete Kunk and we were talking about values and how about Pete Kunk?

Wendy Roop: 39:32

Yeah, great guy. And then, unfortunately, a lot of things that I valued were monetarily. So I had a real hard shell around me, I had ego, I had just you know, I had a lot of things, uh and big.

Wendy Roop: 39:47

I was a big humpty, dumpty in a wall, uh and. But, like, like the two of you, he gave me a lot of time and grace and space to discover that, without pushing me off the wall and watching me break. Uh, but if I had to go back to my homework and I had to look at what I initially said that I valued versus my five core values today, that was a really cool journey. And I'll probably end with this I didn't know I could be that honest about my values. I didn't know I could be that brave about my values because I wanted them to fit in like an Intel or a Google or a Starbucks theme. Does that make any sense? It's like no, like it's like I don't even care what they are, as long as they're yours. Like you own those and you carry a torch and you move those forward. So great place to start. And they, they change and shift too. I mean I'm 59. I think I did mine when I was, you know, 43. So I think it's a wonderful place to start.

Karen Preston: 40:58

Yeah, aside from just the importance of the individual and them peeling back on getting their values, organizations have their own little core values that they put on their walls everywhere. Right, that's right, and I see a lot of big words, that I don't see a lot of the people in the organization walking the talk, and so that's another area that I love to be able to support. How do you help? Your organization walk the talk.

Wendy Roop: 41:32

Wendy was at McGowan, Brabant when we wrote our vision and it was like a paragraph long Right and we had this employee. She walked up to the wall and she said what's wrong? And I think even back then I would ask questions, not in a way like, hey, if you answer this incorrectly, I'm not going to harm you, this isn't going to hurt. Like, no, tell me, I'm really curious. And she said I can't, I can't, I can't memorize all that, but what I can do is I can see three words and I can memorize that and she goes empowering, healthier living. And I was like, oh man.

Scott McGohan: 42:07

As you say, boom, yeah, it's like that was.

Wendy Roop: 42:12

That's pretty interesting. So I don't know, Wendy, if you remember, we spent so much time writing that paragraph.

Scott McGohan: 42:17

Yeah.

Wendy Roop: 42:18

And we ripped it off the wall and we just said, all right, now we're going to go from the paragraph to three words. That was it. It was awesome, love it.

Scott McGohan: 42:26

Sometimes we probably make things a little more complicated than we need to, right, yep.

Scott McGohan: 42:30

But it's true, we have to make sure we hit it all. Make sure we hit it all. Now, I love the work that you do in general, karen, in your coaching and especially bringing the values in, because, again, I just don't think it's as important as it is. I just don't think many of us are walking around going, huh, what are my values and how am I living into my values or how am I not, and how is that affecting me and how is that affecting other people? And I think that's something that you know, you really bring. And to your point about teams or groups, or you know what have you like when we can look at those together, oh my gosh, the impact that we can make because we all bring our individual values. But then how are those leaning into our values, you know, as an organization and even as a team?

Wendy Roop: 43:18

So I love that you. I think one thing that I watch you do Karen, you do really well is you ask questions in a way that doesn't put people on the defensive, like I've had board of advisors that would ask me questions and I would always say quit asking me questions, you know the answer to.

Scott McGohan: 43:37

Those are called leading questions.

Wendy Roop: 43:39

Yeah, and it's almost like you know. So sometimes like they would make you feel dumb or they would make you feel like stupid or my kids say that on the questions sometimes but I will have to say the questions that you ask.

Wendy Roop: 43:56

I mean, like, a lot of times you'll ask some questions and they're they're they're not easy questions, but you don't say it in a way where you're like accusatory. You don't even say it in a way like ask me a question about it, cause I'm going to give it to you. It's, it's a, a, it's a really cool, like jolting of the of the noggin, um, and you just and, and you do it in a really good way yes, well, and I think that's one of the things that I'd really love so much about coaching leaders is helping them become coach-like leaders, right um teaching them to use that empowering question tool that really is your number one tool in any, in any and all circumstances.

Karen Preston: 44:43

And so building that muscle, just being able to figure out what's that most empowering question that you can get to the thing behind the thing, that again, let's go back to the very first thing I said here was efficiency and effectiveness, right. So let's be efficient with the question and so totally effective that if it's not going to provoke you in some way to help you get to that critical thinking, then it's. You know my job is pretty pointless.

Scott McGohan: 45:19

I think this is a great place to wrap up for now. Not that we won't be coming back to more questions for you, Miss Karen, but I think you know how, at the end of all of our episodes, we're like let's go inside. When you think of even what you were just talking about there, if you were to invite our listeners to go inside, what might their, what might the challenge be?

Karen Preston: 45:45

Yeah, where are some of your values that you have been aligned with all these years? Been aligned with all these years?

Scott McGohan: 45:58

perhaps have some fear in them. How's that for a question? That is a good question, all right. Well, let's write that down so we remember to come back to that next time. That's good. Yes, great. Anything else y'all have as we wrap up.

Wendy Roop: 46:14

Thanks for being vulnerable. And I was at an event the other day and they said the word listen and the word silent have the same letters and so I just really appreciated listening to you kind of tell your story, especially your journey, as you were a little girl and you're growing up and like all of that. And thanks for just thanks for being vulnerable and thanks for being you.

Karen Preston: 46:38

Thank you for creating a space for that. Next time I'll bring my motorcycle helmet.

Wendy Roop: 46:42

So you can have a real picture. I want to see it. I want to see it.

Scott McGohan: 46:46

Sounds fun.

Wendy Roop: 46:47

Yeah.

Scott McGohan: 46:48

Retreat Sounds like a retreat with motorcycles. Let's do it. Oh gosh, all right that.