Culture is an Inside Job

Saboteurs | EP9 |

June 14, 2023 TM Episode 9

In this episode, we dive deeper into what holds us back and invite you to take the Saboteur Assessment by Positive Intelligence.  What do you need to be unbelievably curious?

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00;00;01;01 - 00;00;30;03
Speaker 1
Welcome to Culture is an inside job. The Podcast on building an authentic, engaging and inspiring culture. Hi, I'm Wendy Roop and along with my friends and co-hosts Karen Preston and Scott McGowan, we believe that building a healthy work culture starts with leaders like you. If you're ready to get real and dig deep into your own self-awareness, determine how you want to show up in the world and then take aligned action to transform your leadership and those around you.

00;00;30;14 - 00;00;37;09
Speaker 1
Then this podcast is for you. Now let's go inside.

00;00;39;26 - 00;00;51;29
Speaker 1
Welcome back to Culture is an Inside Job and we are on episode nine. Good to hear and see everybody today. Scott Karen Taylor in the background.

00;00;53;05 - 00;00;54;13
Speaker 2
Good to see you as well.

00;00;55;00 - 00;00;56;22
Speaker 3
Hey there. Good to be back.

00;00;57;24 - 00;01;22;10
Speaker 1
So let's just jump in. It has been a while since we've been able to get back together, so I'm excited to be able to have this conversation today when we were together on our last episode. I know we were talking about wrapping up the levels of energy and of course we're not going to go through all those. But there are seven levels of energy.

00;01;22;10 - 00;01;47;01
Speaker 1
And when we were together last time, we were wrapping up level five, six and seven. And of course, in all of this, we're tying in how is this tied into culture and why is it important and coming from a place of choice that we get to come from a place of choice in how we respond to our circumstances, whether that's on a day to day basis or whether that's in just under stress.

00;01;47;26 - 00;02;17;05
Speaker 1
And one of the things that we were talking a lot about, too, is, well, what does that mean from a personal standpoint and what does that mean from a an organization system standpoint to. And so even whether it was when we were recording the podcast or when we're having our own conversation on the side. Scott Was he used the phrase unbelievably curious.

00;02;18;02 - 00;02;45;19
Speaker 1
And Karen, I really love that. And I see how that relates also to our organization system versus our own personal system. So Scott, I'm also curious and I want to ask you, what does that mean when you say unbelievably curious and just in what we talked about, about our own personal self versus the organization and how that's tied to culture.

00;02;46;26 - 00;02;48;05
Speaker 1
What comes up for you around that?

00;02;49;04 - 00;03;15;16
Speaker 2
Well, I think from a leadership perspective, what really kind of I don't know, it just allowed me to step back and think about it differently because, I mean, obviously, the two of you are very competent in energy leadership and you know how to bring yourself in a new environment. But the thing that kind of allowed me to step back, especially maybe if there's conflict in an organization or for being judgmental against other people, was really interesting for me.

00;03;15;16 - 00;03;43;15
Speaker 2
Was is it this system that creates this or is it the individual? And what a healthy way to look at that, because inside of an organization, we could actually have a very self-aware, very empowered individual. And the system is not allowing them to grow. Or we could have a destructive person inside of a really good system. And and I'm not sure and to be honest with you, I've never thought of it that way.

00;03;44;02 - 00;04;06;17
Speaker 2
So it kind of caught me off guard like, boy, that's a compelling way to look at a situation is because I think everyone's human nature as we want to judge the situation and who's at fault? Whose fault is this? And if you're a leader in an organization, you'd certainly you wouldn't blame the organization. Right. Do you blame you probably start off by blaming the person.

00;04;06;28 - 00;04;31;28
Speaker 2
Is that fair? No, it's just reality. But as a leader, if you could say, is this system creating this? It just it really it blew me away. And I really appreciate you guys bringing that up. And then so if I was going to end with this is inside of that, if I was really curious I unbelievably curious in regards to this situation.

00;04;31;28 - 00;04;56;01
Speaker 2
Is it this is it that I'll just call it the internal system of the organization that's creating this? Or is it do I have the gift of discernment to look at the individual? And then then if I have, let's just say, a gut, then then I have the ability to look at that differently and be really curious about either the organization system or the individual system.

00;04;56;13 - 00;04;57;03
Speaker 2
Does that make sense?

00;04;57;21 - 00;05;01;17
Speaker 1
It makes a lot of sense. Karen, I'm curious as to what comes up for you.

00;05;03;00 - 00;05;40;10
Speaker 3
I just love the word unbelievable because I think that's part of the point here. The curiosity and building discernment is what do we need to unbelief? What about that? Right. So we again come from judgment, come from fear, which most often rules our action. So what do we need to own? Believe in order to be curious enough to build that discernment, to understand again what like you said, Wendy, coming from a place of strength rather than fear, truth rather than fear.

00;05;40;10 - 00;06;01;20
Speaker 3
What's the truth about this? So, yeah, if we looked at what's in the way of our thinking, what do we need to believe? What do we need to? What are the questions that we would want to ask in that space of carry unbelievable curiosity.

00;06;04;01 - 00;06;37;12
Speaker 1
Yeah, because I think one of the things that we may have talked about just separately outside the podcast and the one thing that comes up for me is I had mentioned this to the both of you is sometimes we make so many times we people, you know, make decisions before understanding all of the choices that they have. And part of that is that internal reflection, right?

00;06;37;15 - 00;07;02;04
Speaker 1
We make decisions based on the bigger hole in what's happening around us before we even realize we have the opportunity to look within. And that's a lot of what the, you know, seven levels of energy are. But, Karen, what you're saying is what holds us back from really moving forward in that? And so part of the reflection isn't just on how are you, how are we responding?

00;07;02;04 - 00;07;26;04
Speaker 1
It's once we really even know that, well, what's holding us back from shifting, what's holding us back from shifting to that higher level of energy? And I know we briefly mentioned some of those things last time, so, Karen, where do you think we should go from here when we.

00;07;26;04 - 00;07;56;19
Speaker 3
Yeah, I, I would say let's maybe look at the scales a bit, but let's just say if we if we over viewed the idea of what's in our way right. I want to kind of keep on this topic of where Scott is with the with an organization and how damaging it can be to only have a limited view, right.

00;07;56;19 - 00;08;18;26
Speaker 3
To only be using what you believe as your measuring stick for taking action. And how does that impact us individually within that organization? What's the culture impact of that as an organization, as a leader making decisions with limited viewpoints? Again, not being unbelievably curious enough. Right.

00;08;20;00 - 00;08;34;17
Speaker 2
So I think one of the things to make a really interesting would be let let's just pick maybe a a character defect. So character defect that I can think of is like perfectionism.

00;08;34;29 - 00;08;35;08
Speaker 1
Mm hmm.

00;08;36;03 - 00;09;04;05
Speaker 2
So in my experience, I picked up perfectionism because I thought self-worth equaled performance, plus the opinions of others. That's how I picked that up. And I picked up perfectionism. So anyone that wasn't perfect was in my life. Like, they paid a big price for that. That this is me. The really cool thing about even working inside McGowan, Brabender, is there was no evidence that that existed inside the organization.

00;09;04;14 - 00;09;36;27
Speaker 2
They weren't calling me to be a perfectionist. They were actually an unbelievably it's like they just accepted people for who they were. So I brought my character defect of low self-worth, which equaled perfectionism into a system that was accepting of people. Does that make sense? I can look back and say that today. And so now you can also work inside of an organization that, unfortunately, is led with perfectionism, not acceptance.

00;09;37;16 - 00;09;58;02
Speaker 2
And that's the organization pitching in against the individual. But in my opinion, a lot of organizations will or people will say things like, well, the organization is doing that. To me, where this happened happened to me. And if you had asked me 15, 20 years ago, I probably would have blamed our company on on my character defect, which would have been a lie.

00;09;59;03 - 00;10;23;10
Speaker 2
But that curiosity and self-discovery allowed me to kind of say, well, wait a minute, my self-worth doesn't come through performance or the opinions of others. My self-worth, unfortunately, was warped because my ego was so gigantic I had to tear inside to be very curious about even what you guys are talking about. Like, you know, if you talk about, you know, the gremlins and the saboteurs that live in, we live in.

00;10;23;10 - 00;10;44;15
Speaker 2
I had today. Fortunately today I think I've got a little bit of discernment where I can feel like peeking around the corner or crawling out from underneath my bed, like I can kind of sense maybe where they're going to come into that. But just the self-awareness, I shouldn't even say the self-awareness, the curiosity to be able to say, why does this exist?

00;10;44;25 - 00;11;07;02
Speaker 2
And even more powerful is what limiting belief do I have about this? And I'll give you a good example. And I'm probably, you know, talking too much, but, you know, in regards to like even compensation inside of an organization. So we do a lot of work. The folks at Aileron, Wendy's there now, which is awesome. But I'll I'll pose a problem.

00;11;07;02 - 00;11;22;01
Speaker 2
And our advisor there, he's he's a rock star. I love him. West Westgate. He always say, well, let's just that's a love machine. Believe. What I want to say is, no, it's not because I'm the leader. And this is this is the way our industry does it. And I'll say it, it goes, yeah, it's still it's a limiting belief.

00;11;22;24 - 00;11;41;10
Speaker 2
So how could you think about that differently? So I've got to take all my experience and everything that I know about that situation, and I've got to set that aside and say, how could that be different? Now, the first thing I got to check is my ego, because I think I'm right, but I'm not because I have a limiting belief.

00;11;42;06 - 00;12;04;19
Speaker 2
And so my statement says something which is really powerful. What's the last thing you thought about before you realized you were wrong? I was right. Right. And so it's really cool to maybe say that. And I think even from a humble perspective, but like we don't have to act as smart as we think we are, which is just drop it.

00;12;04;19 - 00;12;09;13
Speaker 2
Drop the facade. Be curious. Yeah.

00;12;10;04 - 00;12;45;17
Speaker 1
Scott, you know, I'm sorry. I just have to jump in here, too, because, you know, Karen and I are very fortunate that we get to do what we do as coaches, right? We're in the space talking about these kind of things all the time, together with clients or teams and Scott, for you. You know, before the ailerons of the world, before the Wendy and Karen's of the world, you know, etc., how did you get to that place of allowing yourself to be more curious?

00;12;46;29 - 00;12;49;27
Speaker 2
Well, that's a long story, but I do.

00;12;49;27 - 00;12;50;12
Speaker 1
Thank.

00;12;51;02 - 00;13;16;01
Speaker 2
You know, at the end of the day, it really got to the point where I hated myself. I hate everything about myself, but I wanted to let you know that I was okay. So maybe I might dress a certain way or live in the right house or the material things. The uniform that I put on the game that I played.

00;13;16;01 - 00;13;34;07
Speaker 2
But then it really just got down to it. And I say the word hate because I don't like the word, but I really did. I mean, I just despised and and then fortunate by the grace of God, like, like we have choices to make. So I can continue to hate myself and blame other people. Or I can really, I can get help.

00;13;35;07 - 00;14;01;13
Speaker 2
So I reached out to a lot of people and people that have been, you know, across many bridges and, you know, been up and down the mountain and, you know, they helped me realize that, like, it's okay. Like I'm okay. And in that in that self-awareness and that self-discovery that took a long time, you know, I got to I got to accept who who I was, which is really important.

00;14;01;28 - 00;14;23;02
Speaker 2
I can admit who I am, but I had to accept that, you know, I was a fake, I was a liar, I was a chameleon. And then I so I had to get to the point where I had to admit that and then accept that. And then the beautiful thing around this journey is the fact that I can make a choice.

00;14;23;02 - 00;14;40;17
Speaker 2
The next day, I didn't I didn't have to be a liar. So truth became really important to me, right? It became like a core value. And then then I. I also got to go back to doing things that I really like to do when I was a kid. But society told me I was allowed to. So I like to write poetry.

00;14;40;17 - 00;14;59;20
Speaker 2
I like to write. I like to do things. And it's it's a really long journey. But the thing that I learned the most is, you know, last time I checked, we're going to spend most of our lives with ourselves. So we better like the person, right? The brain and the noggin and the body and everything that we're living with.

00;14;59;20 - 00;15;24;04
Speaker 2
And a lot of that is a lot of internal perspective and rinse and repeat and just that transformation. And it's just a really cool I wouldn't change a thing in my life and I've made a ton of mistakes a ton. But they're references for me today to be able to, by the grace of God, hear him Aramaic today, and that beauty is way off into the future.

00;15;24;13 - 00;15;29;09
Speaker 2
And that was a really long answer to kind of a thank, you know, a short question.

00;15;29;19 - 00;16;10;19
Speaker 1
No, it is it's a beautiful answer. And what I heard mostly in that is that and I heard you mention this word a couple of times, and I'm a huge believer that life is a journey, not a destination. And so you came to that understanding, which in itself is huge. And you also were allowed yourself to understand the truth of who you are and when you're able to do those things, it helps you to be able to let go and move forward and then become more curious because.

00;16;10;25 - 00;16;28;09
Speaker 2
Yeah, I think the one last thing is, is I did not want and this is maybe the way I think, but if I go back in time, I didn't want to I didn't want a judge to tell me that I needed to fix something. I didn't want a bankruptcy attorney to tell me that, hey, it's time to make some changes.

00;16;29;05 - 00;16;55;04
Speaker 2
I didn't want to divorce attorney to tell me that I had to maybe figure out a different place to live. So how all that happened? It maybe underneath us was was really amazing because but fortunately, I was smart enough to know that if I didn't change like a cop, a judge, like somebody was going to do that. So something was going on.

00;16;55;10 - 00;17;17;02
Speaker 2
And honestly, I did. And I'm not saying that like I had tons of courage and and I'm really I was really brave because I wasn't I was just terrified. I was a scared little boy that never grew up. And I was terrified. And maybe my ego told me, you better fix this now or or you're going to get this speeding ticket.

00;17;17;06 - 00;17;30;08
Speaker 2
You know, I don't know. I'm not sure that matters. But what matters is it it got me in a spot or I got to renew, like the renewal of the mind. I got to renew my mind and my spirit.

00;17;31;20 - 00;17;56;20
Speaker 3
I love the word. This is going to sound crazy hate because I reconcile this word a long time ago and understanding that hate does not come from any place other than having love. You could never that you could never had such a strong emotion for something or someone if you did not have some affinity for it at some point in time.

00;17;57;07 - 00;18;39;25
Speaker 3
Right. Because the opposite of love is apathy, really. Let's let's be real. But that space that you had hate was rooted in fear. And the minute that you discerned the truth, what's on the other side of that was love because you knew you had so much love for yourself that self self-love exists. That is absolute. But we have all these fear based thoughts that make us think we've got to do this or do that or be that or be this or leave led leading you down a path that was going to wind up with either a judge or a cop or.

00;18;40;07 - 00;18;58;22
Speaker 3
Right. So the minute that you had that discernment, again, let's go back to that word. Right? That's where I think you had that that aha. Moment where you realize the truth is I am self-love, I am worthy. And and the word to your point is acceptance.

00;19;00;11 - 00;19;06;16
Speaker 2
Wow. And I think it goes back to what you guys are going to talk about, too, is because all of that came from those gremlins. Saboteurs.

00;19;06;25 - 00;19;07;21
Speaker 3
Yeah. The fear based.

00;19;07;21 - 00;19;32;17
Speaker 2
Thoughts. Yeah. And I just, you know, for some reason what's crazy too, is sometimes we think somebody else gave us those. And in my experience, yeah, I mean, we can have parents, we have a really bad childhood. We can have bad marriage. I mean, yes, there are things that we can that other people can hand us. But in my experience, I grew up in a loving family, in an environment.

00;19;32;17 - 00;19;36;07
Speaker 2
I put those things in my pocket myself.

00;19;36;07 - 00;19;36;25
Speaker 3
Huge.

00;19;37;04 - 00;19;55;20
Speaker 2
Yeah, I mean, I did that myself. Now there are people that are victims of domestic violence and really hard stuff. And, and I get that and I understand that. And I think that that the thing that I appreciate about my journey is the fact that no one did this to me except for myself.

00;19;55;20 - 00;19;56;24
Speaker 3
We have a conscious choice.

00;19;57;03 - 00;20;04;19
Speaker 2
Yeah. And unfortunately, I spent a long time putting really, you know, letting those gremlins live underneath my bed.

00;20;08;01 - 00;20;16;06
Speaker 3
Well, we are going to talk about those gremlins today, so let's look at the Gayle's writing. Wendy.

00;20;16;16 - 00;20;17;28
Speaker 1
Yeah, I love her.

00;20;19;03 - 00;20;50;21
Speaker 3
So let's go backwards because I like if we looked at a L the limiting beliefs is the L, the idea that our scope of view is only what we believe it to be. We're not willing to look at an alternative view, right? Our view is limited. We believe something that's very limited. Lots of stereotypical ideas fall into place of of a limiting belief.

00;20;50;21 - 00;21;24;20
Speaker 3
They get in our way because we aren't curious enough, have not built that discernment muscle well enough, interpretations similar. But here we take a, you know, experience and based on our limiting beliefs, our perception of that experience, we interpret it to be the through the filter, the lens of of these fear based thoughts. So we interpret things that may not be true.

00;21;25;18 - 00;21;47;09
Speaker 3
It's only I like to say that you know how our moms told us when we were little. The world doesn't evolve around you, Karen. Well, it does, though, right? Because think about it. I can't see the world through any other lens other than my own pair of eyes, my own experience. And so that that limits my ability to interpret unless I'm going to be curious enough.

00;21;48;20 - 00;21;52;23
Speaker 3
So, again, curiosity, our number one tool, we're going to talk ad nauseum about curiosity, right?

00;21;53;03 - 00;21;56;04
Speaker 1
Yes.

00;21;56;04 - 00;22;30;24
Speaker 3
Assumptions. We do this all the time based on, oh, well, it happened. It's going to happen again. And so our minds play these tricks on us about we become even more fearful of the future because we believe something's going to happen based on a history of it happening. And so then that leads us to the gremlins. And this is really that strong level of egoic mental model where it's the I'm not good enough, the you're not good enough, it's not good enough.

00;22;30;24 - 00;22;59;00
Speaker 3
She's not going to he's not good enough. Or even Scott that I'm better than you. Right? That that level of insecurity, that the I'm not good enough turns into I'm better than everyone else, which is all just fear based thoughts, because we have to either be a victim of not good enough or we have to demonstrate our level of worthiness to everyone else in the world to make us feel good about ourselves.

00;23;00;14 - 00;23;26;20
Speaker 3
All fear based, all judgment based thoughts. And until we have that awareness around these thoughts and our mental model and how we're showing up, we stay stuck in those lower levels of energy. This is the basis of those level one victim mindsets of feeling helpless and hopeless because our mind is telling us we're not good enough when we're angry at the world and level two and blaming everyone else for our circumstance.

00;23;26;20 - 00;23;53;23
Speaker 3
Our mental model is giving us some power, some reason to believe that that the rest of the world is not good enough. We may project on the rest of the world our perfection and it have very high levels of expectations of everyone else and how they show up and fail us. In an organization, like you said before, do we do this as the leaders?

00;23;53;23 - 00;24;06;05
Speaker 3
How do we build awareness around that and build discernment and that unbelievable curiosity in order to overcome some of these fear based, judgment based thinking?

00;24;07;12 - 00;24;33;07
Speaker 1
Karen, I want to add because the importance, again, of the curiosity is the understanding that again, not to put shame on ourselves or judgment or anything else, but we don't even realize these things are here. Like we have had this and I like to call it an operating system. We have had this operating system most likely since childhood.

00;24;33;07 - 00;25;03;28
Speaker 1
And so these limiting beliefs and assumptions and interpretations and the gremlins and so forth, we until we either have someone challenge us or and be curious with us or we do that with ourselves, we'll just keep living that same way and having those same blinders on and not have the opportunity to take them off to see something could even be different.

00;25;05;15 - 00;25;09;14
Speaker 1
So I just say that because I don't even think that we think about it.

00;25;10;11 - 00;25;27;29
Speaker 3
No. Again, that's the beauty of compassion and curiosity, right? The willingness to challenge thinking, to be challenged. Don't we don't challenge our own thinking well enough. Right.

00;25;28;25 - 00;25;50;07
Speaker 2
I had a guy in recovery tell me one time was interesting. So like drama, I mean sometimes, you know, unfortunately, like everyone has a bunch of drama in their lives. Fair. I mean, I think we're all, you know, like a like a TV show, right. Ready for syndication. But I had this guy tell me one time and I was complaining about something.

00;25;50;07 - 00;26;06;28
Speaker 2
I remember what it was about and then he kept asking me, he goes, What power does that give you? And I was like, No. And it drains me because that's a lie. Like, What do you mean because we wouldn't stay in and it didn't give you energy or power like that. And now you don't understand. He has no, no, no, no.

00;26;06;28 - 00;26;28;18
Speaker 2
You don't understand. Like you're getting paid back. How are you getting paid back? I'm like, That's ridiculous. I'm not getting paid back. You actually you are getting paid back. And it I can't believe how long it took me to figure that one out. Like, and you know what he's smart enough to say, like, I'm not even teach you how to do that.

00;26;28;18 - 00;26;53;19
Speaker 2
I'm just going to tell you you can pay back and I ask you to just explore that. I'm quite old. I don't know how to do that because I just, you know, sitting it for a while. But just the fact of my attitude towards the situation or my assumption which last time I spell check dispelled assess every time I assume I make a Roy, I asked myself, so just the assumptions are gone.

00;26;55;07 - 00;27;16;06
Speaker 2
But even in the negative behavior, like I got paid back for doing that and that it being curious about how I got you talk about a compelling way to be curious be really curious about why you're inserting yourself in this situations or why my behavior came that way when I would neglect and lie about, No, I don't want any of that.

00;27;16;14 - 00;27;25;04
Speaker 2
It's not the truth, because I get paid back and there's power in it and a secret is, is to find where did that come from and why do I keep doing it over and over again?

00;27;26;16 - 00;27;49;27
Speaker 1
I know that's one of the reasons why, again, Karen and I aren't just passionate about what we do as coaches, but also helping leaders to become more more of a coaching leader. Because, Scott, what you described as someone who was willing to speak into your life, even if even if he was like, just sit in that for a minute, and because it is so hard for us to do it on our own, especially you don't know what you don't know.

00;27;50;05 - 00;28;14;15
Speaker 1
Because if you've never been exposed to any of this type of thing or thinking, how would we know? And so when we can equip leaders to be curious and to challenge and to ask those powerful questions, then we help people to grow and develop and have those aha moments and, and have the opportunity to see that something can be different.

00;28;14;15 - 00;28;30;22
Speaker 1
And oh my gosh, talk about life changing, not just for the individual, but the organization, the teams, the the community, the world and sleep.

00;28;31;07 - 00;28;32;11
Speaker 3
Go ahead. Well, where we say.

00;28;32;18 - 00;28;33;17
Speaker 2
In your own sleep.

00;28;34;15 - 00;28;35;25
Speaker 1
Yes, yes.

00;28;35;27 - 00;28;37;20
Speaker 3
Peace, game changer. Right.

00;28;38;02 - 00;28;38;16
Speaker 1
Mhm.

00;28;40;10 - 00;28;57;13
Speaker 3
And that's that discernment muscle that you talked about Scott. The ability to have a sense of grace and compassion, to sit back and think what are the questions that I want to ask myself? How do I get curious myself?

00;28;57;13 - 00;29;27;17
Speaker 2
I had someone tell me a long time ago, two sickies don't make a well. So when I became healthier personally and relationally, then if I have a sick like person coming towards me or in a situation, then I get to choose whether I'm going to I'm going to try to do anything with that or not. Because I like to say, although, you know, I still like to learn every day, but my job is not to fix every sick, sick person on the planet.

00;29;27;17 - 00;29;50;21
Speaker 2
And they might drive me nuts. And that's okay. That's their life. My ego said, I'm so important that I need to fix everyone around me and fortunately, what what I learned is, man, when you can fix yourself, then you unfortunately, sometimes in life you got to let the sick. He's like, you got to let him go, go, go find the bottom and hope you make it.

00;29;51;10 - 00;29;56;19
Speaker 2
That sounds super selfish, but it's not.

00;29;56;19 - 00;30;38;01
Speaker 3
Yeah, I would piggy back off that in a way that we were talking before we started the podcast and the the recovering pleaser, right? The recovering fixer there as a serial fixer myself, having that strong sense of having to look myself in the mirror and say, wow, it's a projection of it's a judgment, right? Judgment that maybe they're not as perfect as I need them to be or expect them to be.

00;30;38;01 - 00;31;01;09
Speaker 3
That that was really hard for me to to look myself in the mirror and think that I need to be the smartest person in the room, perfect all the time. And if I can't get that, then I'm going to control this or, you know, manipulate circumstance to be able to have that. So how do you how do you learn to, you know, upon that curiosity, that unbelievable curiosity that that's so critical?

00;31;01;09 - 00;31;35;06
Speaker 3
That's the game changer for us to build that discernment, understand where these thoughts or fear or are these thoughts or judgment, what is the truth? How do we get to truth? How to speak to that, Wendy? Because this is this is where I think this is a really hard place for even our listeners right now to think, okay, it's all maybe resonating, but how do we what do we do about this now that I might have seen some of these gremlins or I could see sometimes I might be making assumptions.

00;31;35;13 - 00;31;43;27
Speaker 3
You know, leaders through organizations might be listening that thinking, mm hmm. This is starting to resonate a bit more. What do we say to that?

00;31;44;04 - 00;32;14;05
Speaker 1
Well, I think there are two things that come up for me on this. And as we wrap up this podcast, because this is going to be something that we can really dove into next time. And it's going to take some real space for us to for us to do that. But first of all, I, I invite my clients this my coaching clients to this on a regular basis.

00;32;14;05 - 00;32;41;02
Speaker 1
And I say I, I'm just asking you, you know, during these next couple of weeks after we've had this conversation. Right. And you've had some of these are a little even if they're little bitty aha. Moments to have an out-of-body experience. What I mean by that is pay attention to how you're showing up. Pay attention to when you go into those meetings, you're having the conversations or somebody triggers you or have you.

00;32;41;19 - 00;33;07;05
Speaker 1
How are you reacting? How are you responding? What is your body feel like? What thoughts do you have? What feelings do you have or emotions do you have? What actions are you taking because when we can step back and watch ourselves, the reality of how we're really showing up becomes more apparent and it sounds very simple, but it is.

00;33;07;27 - 00;33;35;21
Speaker 1
It is. And it has been very impactful for me as well. And the other thing is, as we prepare for this next time when we get together, I think inviting everybody to. What do you think, Karen, in asking them to even take the saboteur assessment and then they'll have taken that and then we can dove into what does this even mean?

00;33;36;00 - 00;33;54;20
Speaker 3
I love that idea. Yeah. Positive intelligence, e-comm shows, ads shaming has given us as coaches and amazing framework to work with these specific egoic mindsets. They are not good enough. You're not good enough. It's not good enough. And and the nine accomplished saboteurs to that judge. Right.

00;33;54;20 - 00;34;16;09
Speaker 1
So it takes the gremlins, right? Like we call the gremlin out or the inner critic or what I have, what have you, even the judge. And what are the accomplice? Saboteurs that hold us back. And so it gives us more detail around that. So we have a better understanding and we can come to the capital t truth instead of the little truth about what is what is holding us back.

00;34;16;27 - 00;34;44;26
Speaker 1
And so as Karen mentioned, if you go to positive intelligence dot com, you'll see a place that says take the saboteur assessment and click on that. And if you take the opportunity to do that, you'll have more insight about yourself. When we get together on this next podcast. And in that podcast, link will kick off by, say, explaining a little bit more about again, what is this, what's the background of it, the why of it?

00;34;45;12 - 00;35;10;05
Speaker 1
And then we will discuss, you know, we can talk about each of the saboteurs and and what we're challenging Scott to do is to take the assessment as well. And then each one of us will have our results. And we can, even in the description, be speaking and speaking about it. But we're also talking about helping us through, okay, let's be real about what holds us back and we'll just stay there for a while, right?

00;35;10;05 - 00;35;15;23
Speaker 1
Everybody wants to know. That's great. But what do I do about it? Well, first, we have to make sure that we build awareness.

00;35;15;23 - 00;35;16;01
Speaker 3
Yeah.

00;35;16;11 - 00;35;19;09
Speaker 1
Yes, build that awareness. So how does that sound?

00;35;19;19 - 00;35;45;06
Speaker 3
I love it. How do we make sure if we were to go within, right? If we go inside here and ask what's that question that we really want to leave everyone with with they with seeing these saboteurs, how can you be unbelievably curious for yourself, giving yourself that compassion and curiosity? Just to be curious, what do you need to believe about yourself in order to get to that?

00;35;45;27 - 00;35;50;05
Speaker 3
Like what Wendy said the truth, right? Discern.

00;35;50;05 - 00;35;50;27
Speaker 1
Love that.

00;35;51;18 - 00;36;19;20
Speaker 2
Yeah. As we wrap up here, one is you two are very competent in this space and I'm just grateful to know you. But I think if you had to look at your self-worth in yourself and does it look like the trunk of your car or does it look like your garage? And this experience hopefully will allow us to you know, when you clean your garage, the first step is to pull everything out, every single out of it.

00;36;19;20 - 00;36;39;28
Speaker 2
Right. And we decide what get what gets thrown away, what gets put back in. And there's so much freedom in that, right? We just pull it. We explore each item. We and we make considerations. Do I keep this? Does it stay? What does this look like? What's it value? And if you follow us along this journey, maybe I should make a promise.

00;36;39;28 - 00;36;47;09
Speaker 2
But I will tell you that you'll have a different sense around who you are and how you carry yourself forward. So thanks for joining us.

00;36;48;09 - 00;36;49;07
Speaker 1
Yes, thank you.

00;36;49;16 - 00;36;52;06
Speaker 3
Thank you. Excited about the journey in.


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