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Speaker 1
Welcome to Culture is an inside job. The Podcast on building an authentic, engaging and inspiring culture. Hi, I'm Wendy Roop and along with my friends and co-hosts Karen Preston and Scott McGowan. We believe that building a healthy work culture starts with leaders like you. If you're ready to get real and dig deep into your own self-awareness, determine how you want to show up in the world and then take aligned action to transform your leadership and those around you.

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Speaker 1
Then this podcast is for you. Now let's go inside.

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Speaker 2
Hey, welcome back to Culture is an inside job. Have Karen and Wendy. Welcome.

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Speaker 1
Hey. How are you?

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Speaker 2
Hey. So one of the things we were talking about is, you know, hopefully for our listeners, we want to understand in regards to what does culture mean to us. Right. And what are we trying to accomplish and what does that look like? And then so, Wendy, one of the things you were talking about was organizational culture. So inside of an organization and and so when you when you hear culture like the definition, like what does that what does that mean to Wendy?

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Speaker 1
Yeah. You know, I was really thinking about this because you could define culture in so many different ways. And I do think it's important for us to share what is on our heart and mind around this. And when I was looking up the different definitions, you know, one that came up was the set of shared attitudes, values, goals and practices that characterize an institution or organization.

00;01;35;10 - 00;01;59;23
Speaker 1
And I would add to that an individual, because this isn't just about organizations and institutions. Right. And like we talked about on her first podcast, it starts with self. But I think that whole piece about our attitudes, our values, our goals and our practices are so much what we talk about. Or at least when I'm thinking about culture, those are the types of things that come to mind.

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Speaker 1
I don't know about you guys. Thank you.

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Speaker 2
Karen.

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Speaker 3
Yeah, I. It's it. It those four little tenets of culture, I think, are absolutely the critical piece here. Whether you're as an individual and building or aligning with your self culture or as a community, as a family. Right. Scott, you mentioned a family or a organization. Right. Regardless of size, you're either we're a people. Right. And so how we're showing up, it's all about culture.

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Speaker 3
It's all about our attitudes and our values.

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Speaker 2
You know what's interesting to us? I mean, sometimes we make it a lot more complicated than needs to be, but all of us are with our kids, right? I mean, we wouldn't be sitting here if we weren't a kid at one point in our life. Right. But as kids, we figure out two things really, really quick. How do I get in trouble and what gets rewarded?

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Speaker 3
Yes. And start behaviors. And start behaviors I like to call.

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Speaker 2
So inside of a culture normally. Right, is they hear words or hear things. What they're really curious about is how do I get rewarded and how do I get in trouble? And if there's confusion or mystery around that or favorites like there aren't families inside of an organization, that's when the shenanigans begin.

00;03;27;06 - 00;03;42;24
Speaker 3
Yeah. And in episode one, Scott, you said something pretty important, and that is if you don't have your own culture and you're in an organization, you're going to you're going to develop whatever culture they hand to you. And the same thing with values.

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Speaker 2
Think of like Enron right now, a company was had thousands of people. 99.9% of those people were good moms and dads, good men and women that got caught up in a few characters making really bad decisions. Right. That I mean, they were just good, decent people working for an organization, probably two, three, four or five who are whatever it was at the time, making bad decisions.

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Speaker 2
And and it's sad. I mean, it just really it's Wells Fargo and all the credit card fraud, you know, many, many people lost their job because of that, because of three or four people.

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Speaker 1
Mm hmm. Karen, what have you what have you seen when you you were bringing up values? You know, when you think of those companies that Scott was talking about and just in general and even with people you coach like, how is that come up from a values perspective?

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Speaker 3
I do think that what I see a lot right now are is a lot of burnout, a lot of overwhelm, a lot of reorganization in the companies, whether it's people have not come back to work. You know, a lot of people are leaving. A lot of people are going for better paying jobs. It's across the board. It's it's kind of it's insane.

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Speaker 3
I don't know. Find out another way to really put it. But there's just insanity across the board from a corporate perspective. So burnout is is is higher than I think it's ever been. And I think the biggest issue with that is people don't know how to say no. People don't know what how to prioritize or to delegate or to communicate.

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Speaker 3
You know, they feel bad, so they're willing to take it on and sacrifice themselves instead of being able to, you know, make make tough decisions.

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Speaker 2
You know, it's funny you bring that up as I was, I don't know, there was just something like, I don't know. I was asked to do one thing and another and I said, yes, yes, yes. And I was like, Why do you keep doing that to yourself? And I felt compelled to write down all the things that I had to do outside of my job and outside of my marriage and being a dad and all this other stuff.

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Speaker 2
It's pretty long list. And it was like, you need to be on a challenge to go, say, now. And I was like, Oh, that's so freeing. So I'm on this list, I make this list, right? So I made it. It's a big list and I felt really good about making that guess. I mean, those I've said so far.

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Speaker 3
Zero.

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Speaker 2
Nine because in the last episode you talk about balance and you would think COVID would have given us a little more insight in regards to balance. It's actually I don't know. I think in some respects it's made it worse.

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Speaker 1
And that's what I hope. Yeah. You know, and that's what I'm excited about is getting into in this podcast is there are so many things attached to that right for each of us. Like as far as your why start, right? Why you didn't say no to those things. And those are the those are the areas that I think are going to be important for us to dove into, to really help our listeners to be able to, you know, get through those things themselves because they're they're dealing with the exact same things.

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Speaker 1
And which is why I'm glad that we brought up about, you know, what is the definition of culture, because if we remember in our first podcast at the end when our challenge was, we left that call to action of, you know, why is culture important to you? And what's important about being a part of a podcast like this?

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Speaker 1
And I think us defining what the heck do we even mean by culture that's going to help people even more to be able to dove into that. So Scott, I'm curious from your perspective, anything else that you would add as you think about, you know, from a life and general perspective or being, you know, the head of a company, when you think about defining culture and why we're talking about it, what else comes up for you?

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Speaker 2
Oh, I mean, just I don't think it really matters what a company does or what it sells. I don't think it does. And I think sometimes people feel like, you know, I'm not an IT company, so I can't be fun. Well, that's just bunk. And I think it's ultimately it's it's about in my own opinion, it's like the five senses.

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Speaker 2
So when an employee comes in the organization, what do they see? Do they see open doors? Are closed doors? Do they see smiles or frowns? Do they see heads down or, you know, heads up, you know, and what are they? What do they feel when they walk in your building or they feel even remotely? What do they feel?

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Speaker 2
So when's the last time a leader called them at home or asked them how things were going and and then, you know, ultimately, when you think about, you know, where they hear to they hear words of affirmation or they hear you're not good enough, you know, work hard or all of those things. And then ultimately, what do they taste?

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Speaker 2
Right. And taste is, is regards to like compensation, right? Taste actually is words, words of affirmation. You know, you get enough.

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Speaker 3
I refer to that as the bread crumbs of life. Like when they are delectable. That's the path you got to follow, right? I mean, there's.

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Speaker 2
So many studies that say that, you know, if you picked compensation and or compliments or words of affirmation, most people would pick words of affirmation way above compensation. But yeah, even like even inside of, you know, even inside of families, we figure that out all the time. I mean, you know, in a great examples and I see this all the time in at church, right?

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Speaker 2
So you get a church or the whole family and then you get stuck in traffic and Dad's losing his mind in the car. You're like, Well, you wouldn't behave like that inside the building. So I say that because what you allow, you encourage and what people see they will emulate. Yeah, they will emulate. Absolutely. Yeah. Good stuff.

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Speaker 1
I so see your passion around that. When you were talking about at work, she's got just, you know, all of those things and Karen, I'm curious with you, what are you really passionate about? You know, we started talking a little bit about that last time, but what kind of when you think about culture, what what drives you around that?

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Speaker 1
Yeah.

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Speaker 3
Well, I think anything that you look at that successful, it has to have cohesion, right? Whether it's self cohesiveness, you know, you're aligned a kind of collective and being able to take aligned action, self cohesion or cohesion with everyone else around you, in your family, in your community, in your organization. When you have cohesion, you pass the ball and you pass it, you know, five yards in front of your teammates.

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Speaker 3
They know exactly where you're going to be when that moment, you know, like that's that's cohesion, right? And that starts in a locker room that starts outside of the field or the court. And so, again, that's communication, it's compassion. It's it's coming from a completely different mindset than blaming and staying frustrated and being stuck as a victim. It's again, I might you're going to hear me talk about these three things all the time.

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Speaker 3
It's compassion, curiosity and creativity. The more we can be compassionate and curious, asking ourselves the questions, asking others the questions. That's where we get to create what's possible.

00;11;24;17 - 00;11;43;03
Speaker 2
Yeah, I think I was driving. I was driving. I was coming back from Georgia and I was with two other people in the car and we were hungry and they said, What do you guys want to go? And the person in the back said, Chick-Fil-A. I'm like, Well, cool, I love Chick-Fil-A. So we get off this exit ramp and we pull in and this Chick-Fil-A is packed.

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Speaker 2
I mean, cars are I'm like, come on, I just want to go home. I mean, let's go anywhere. But I'm not waiting in this line. And they said, Hey, it won't take that long. Like whatever it's going to take forever. So I'm in this line, it's raining now. They've all got the hoodies on, they've got the, you know, the stuff wrapped around them.

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Speaker 2
The managers are outside. They're they're they're Patni employees on the back. Come on. Hey, we're almost through this. We're almost through that. Right? So management's outside encouraging. They've got these tents. They've got these computers harnessed to themselves from from when we pulled in to when we left was 8 minutes. And as we went to the window, she said, hey, ask her more Chick-Fil-A sauce.

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Speaker 2
And then she said, no, don't, because they're really busy. And I said, No, listen to these two words. Right. You guys remember the words they always say at Chick-Fil-A.

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Speaker 1
My pleasure. Yes.

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Speaker 2
So I said, excuse me, can I get more Chick-Fil-A? She looked at me hairdo drenched water even dripping off her nose. I pleasure. And I pulled away and I was like, so, Karen, that's what you talked about. They did not learn that in the rain, right? They didn't.

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Speaker 3
Learn that. They didn't see that rain as a as a as a detriment to their being able to show up.

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Speaker 2
So, yeah, and there a bunch of, you know, 16, 17, 18 year old, you know, kids, you know, in school with probably sometimes with bad attitudes. But I didn't see this attitude that day. They're not allowed this is there.

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Speaker 3
Because the influence is the influence and the impact that they were getting right then. And there was a much more constructive and creative influence. Right.

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Speaker 1
That's a perfect example of for me, I just again, when I think about the importance of this and why I believe so much that the work right is starts with us as an individual because we never know when it's going to come to be. Right. Whether that's from a I'll use the term catabolic side or anabolic side, right, a growth oriented side or we're tearing somebody down.

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Speaker 1
And so when we can start with ourselves and realize, gosh, what is it that is coming up in me, both from a family perspective and anywhere else in the world? I mean, I think about, you know, my family and of course, you know, I've got all sorts of stories when I was young. But even in my current family, you know, I mentioned last podcast that we're a blended family.

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Speaker 1
Talk about work when it comes to culture, right? Like we're not we're not perfect by any means. I'm so blessed and lucky with, you know, the kids, all of our kids. And while it's it's far from perfect, my husband and I and our kids work really hard, you know, to create that environment for each other. But but our hope and and I hope for our kids is that they realize, like, when they're maybe upset about something happened with one of the other kids in the family.

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Speaker 1
Right. Versus looking at that other individual. It's teaching them first look at yourself because they can do is control you. And that's what this is all about. So yeah, that's great stuff.

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Speaker 2
What about Karen? If you think of a place you used to work. Mm hmm. Maybe you don't have to disclose a name, but of a place that maybe had a culture looking back and say, I'm just. I would never go back there. What were some of the traits inside of that?

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Speaker 3
Oh, yeah. Well, let's just say it was in the restaurant business and we could generalize this to be stereotypical of all restaurants, but I'm not going to do that.

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Speaker 1
So this Chick fil A.

00;15;44;18 - 00;16;13;26
Speaker 3
No, no, not that Chick-Fil-A. Right? So, yeah, it was a really hard experience for me once when oh, so this is this is me going into the dark moment. I didn't feel like I was a great waitress. Right? I was there. It was it was money. I was there learning right. My sister in law had been able to she was working there as well.

00;16;15;06 - 00;16;50;24
Speaker 3
It was a Friday night and we're all getting ready to start the evening. And I walked back toward the bathrooms and there I see somebody leaning over on the female bathroom door, like leaning at it. And I'm like, What is that? And I look at I realize he's peeping through the door. So to make a long story short, this kind of got out that there was holes drilled in the door and now that's the workers have been, you know, spying on the females and this was this was bad.

00;16;50;24 - 00;17;14;24
Speaker 3
This is bad stuff, right? The way the owners handled this was so unfortunate that it was a test to all of us as to whether we wanted to stay and be there or and, you know, support this kind of environment. I think at that moment, I realized this was number one. I really didn't I wasn't a good waitress, and I was glad that I wasn't a good waitress.

00;17;15;16 - 00;17;48;23
Speaker 3
But I also saw how owners have an opportunity to show up for the people that are there, working hard for them, that are coming with, with. And I can say positivity because that's a word that we as coaches stay away from. But more constructive mindsets. This was obviously incredibly damaging and incredibly destructive. And so, yeah, it wasn't long after that when it just it escalated from there because I was the one who kind of whistle blew the situation.

00;17;48;23 - 00;18;35;22
Speaker 3
So I got the backlash of it later. That was a really scarring time for me and it was just a waitress job. So I mean, that's just one little snippet of an example of how challenging culture can be for organizations. Many other stories I can share along the way where working throughout lots of different other organizations when I wasn't a waitress, but I think one of the hard parts through that for me was not only was it was there an organization cultural issue, but a family cultural issue, because I did feel like I didn't have the support of my family through that because my sister in law had to stay there and work by the

00;18;35;22 - 00;18;57;25
Speaker 3
dynamics that she was putting herself back through college and, you know, staying with her parents and so forth. So that was I had hoped that she'd be able to provide that support at that point in time. She later came back and acknowledged, but I realized that for her, the value her value was being able to put food on her table and that was her means to do it.

00;18;57;25 - 00;19;22;19
Speaker 3
And so she couldn't really support me in that circumstance. There's a lot, obviously, that has happened since then with the families, the the people that owned and so forth and, you know, comes around. But for me, that was a very, very scary moment in time to think that I was a part of that moment and how horrible it was.

00;19;22;25 - 00;19;31;15
Speaker 3
And what do you do? What you do not do? Do you stay? Do you go like I don't know. It was a challenge. Yeah, that would be tough.

00;19;31;16 - 00;19;48;17
Speaker 2
Yeah. There's a lot of there's huge opportunities in those big events inside of an organization and how you react to them. Huge. And it just just like massive and wow sorry that happened. I think, you know.

00;19;48;25 - 00;20;16;11
Speaker 3
Again, I came out of I had just finished school and I think my focus here I am the perfectionist and over hyper rational. So with my business degree, my focus was on employment law. So my first thing was you can't you can't treat people like that. You can't talk to people like that. Do you think he cared here I am, just this skinny little.

00;20;16;14 - 00;20;18;17
Speaker 2
Let me go get my business law book out of calm.

00;20;19;20 - 00;20;34;20
Speaker 3
He didn't give. Yeah, and that was for me. Another thing that I realized, yes, I want to go somewhere where I can speak up for myself and I can be valued where I wouldn't have to bring. This isn't appropriate, you know.

00;20;35;01 - 00;20;50;20
Speaker 1
So yeah, we learned just as much in those in those places, in those situations that aren't the best experiences. Right. We have the opportunity to see that didn't serve me well.

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Speaker 3
Like I said, that's when I knew I didn't want to be a waitress anywhere. I And since then I am okay with stinking as a waitress. So.

00;21;01;25 - 00;21;31;24
Speaker 2
You know, one of the things you said in the first episode, Karen, which was really interesting, was like values. And but one of the things that's really interesting that I've learned over my career is that when people have massive trust issues and they are accusatory towards the organization or other people, what I've learned is, and I've learned this time and time again, it's not that they don't trust me or the organization or others.

00;21;32;15 - 00;21;34;27
Speaker 2
They have no trust in themselves.

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Speaker 3
You know, 100% of the time. Yeah.

00;21;36;19 - 00;21;49;06
Speaker 2
And they get so pissed, like, why don't you trust yourself? What are you talking about? I trust myself. I'm like, no, you don't. Yeah, you're a you're a skeptic against humanity. And it's just really interesting.

00;21;49;19 - 00;22;15;17
Speaker 3
Yeah, for sure. Again, when I see trust really high, my first question is, why is this so important? Right. And so nine out of ten times trust is high because there are some mistrust issues somewhere along the way. And so what is it, Wendy? We talk about that mirror effect, right? Same kind of thing. Scott, the more that you have, you're accusing someone else of not being trustworthy.

00;22;15;17 - 00;22;27;06
Speaker 3
This is you are not you don't hold some level of trustworthiness or have some of your own issue. Right. That you're projecting around trust.

00;22;28;10 - 00;22;39;15
Speaker 1
Again, why it's so important for us to realize this things before we're blaming other people, right? Like, well, what is it about me? What is it about me that's going on that I don't trust somebody?

00;22;39;20 - 00;22;47;12
Speaker 2
Oh, I was the mayor of victimhood for decades. Maybe I don't even know if mayor. Governor, maybe.

00;22;48;27 - 00;22;49;08
Speaker 1
Like I.

00;22;49;08 - 00;22;49;15
Speaker 3
Said.

00;22;49;22 - 00;22;50;20
Speaker 2
Appropriate. Yeah.

00;22;52;00 - 00;23;03;13
Speaker 3
So let's go back to those days, Scott. Just just for, you know, all intents and purposes here, tell us more. When you say that as a victim, what did that look like for you?

00;23;04;24 - 00;23;27;22
Speaker 2
You know, it's really a moment is it was looking back and I've done a lot of work in that to recovery is really important to me in my life and in people. And looking back for me, it was all around ego and pride because I had a really low self-worth. So I felt like self-worth equaled performance plus the opinions of others.

00;23;27;22 - 00;23;35;29
Speaker 3
So you were tying your self-worth to things like how well you could please other people, how much you could achieve.

00;23;35;29 - 00;24;13;25
Speaker 2
Yeah, and I had a Ph.D. and this is the disease to please. And then obviously we all know this, but when people don't read the script every day that we write for them, then we get resentment and then, oh yeah, all that kind of crazy stuff. And then so I was really honestly in the arrogance and, and in that arrogance, my humility sad is that everyone was against me, like the world was against Scott, and I was this poor little soul that was fighting this big battle all by myself.

00;24;13;25 - 00;24;27;13
Speaker 2
Looking back, I know. No, you were a pompous jerk, and you were. You were just ignorant. You were. And, you know, ultimately, at the end of the day, I was just a scared little boy.

00;24;27;16 - 00;24;28;12
Speaker 3
That's all it is.

00;24;28;12 - 00;24;30;23
Speaker 2
That's all I that's just a scared little boy.

00;24;31;06 - 00;24;55;21
Speaker 3
So going back to that, Scott, with regard to values and I look forward to being able to dove deeper in all this, but we have so many values that are fear based, right? And so, again, you come with this level of confidence, probably could have been one of your top values, but it's a front for insecurity, right? For for you're feeling secure.

00;24;57;09 - 00;25;19;18
Speaker 3
So for me, communication I tout as being one of my top values. What sure is the day is long? The minute that I feel rejected, that's challenging my value around communication and I'm going to project it too. You're not a very good communicator or how come you can't show up, right? So again, I'm going to blame everyone else for not being a good communicator.

00;25;19;18 - 00;25;38;26
Speaker 3
But really, I have the ability to choose how I communicate. Having nothing to do. I'm not rejected. But we see it that way because that's the way our, what we call them, inner critic gremlin or whatever. Saboteur Yeah, we get hijacked.

00;25;38;29 - 00;25;39;08
Speaker 2
I like.

00;25;39;08 - 00;25;41;10
Speaker 1
That little voices, that sort.

00;25;41;10 - 00;25;42;17
Speaker 3
Of shoulder.

00;25;42;17 - 00;26;07;18
Speaker 1
And tell us that the saboteurs and very loud judge Yeah, that'll be interesting. I'm looking forward to each one of us diving a little bit more, I think, into our stories, our culture stories and kind of where we've come from and and what we have learned and what we continue to learn. Because, like we said, it is a lifelong journey.

00;26;07;29 - 00;26;12;17
Speaker 1
I don't know about you, but I haven't figured it out yet.

00;26;12;17 - 00;26;39;04
Speaker 3
Yup, that is for sure. Well, the one thing that I think has been interesting for me in this last couple of months was I had to move and I was a bit nomadic for a month because of the real estate market. I'm dating us right now, but where I didn't have a place to go, I didn't really know, you know, what do I do about that?

00;26;39;04 - 00;27;05;22
Speaker 3
Right. And so for many, you know, Wendy knew there was a lot of stress and anxiety about what that looked like for me. But what happened fascinatingly, were two mindsets that kind of I was thrust into and one was Home is here. So wherever I found myself in whoever else is home, I was still home right here inside of me.

00;27;07;08 - 00;27;33;05
Speaker 3
And the other thing that happened and that was so that felt so freeing because I didn't have to worry. We put so much emphasis on what you know, where we put our heads at night, but really it's where we exist. Doesn't matter what moment it is, it's it's that present moment. And that's the other piece that I, that I kind of was thrust into is stop worrying about tomorrow.

00;27;33;13 - 00;27;59;24
Speaker 3
Stop worrying about where you're not going to be or where you are going to be or what happens next. It's just be here now. So it was really very powerful and I've kind of been able to sustain that even since then. Now that I am in a home. Yeah. Part of culture, right. Part of being able to understand how challenging times, how resilient we are.

00;27;59;24 - 00;28;00;05
Speaker 3
Right.

00;28;01;15 - 00;28;30;16
Speaker 2
Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, right. You know, I think even for, for, for people probably that the the thing that's most important for me today, which wasn't important back then because I was I mean, I was a high paid comedian and I made a lot of money being a chameleon. I got a lot of cool stuff because I was a chameleon is you know, in that in there in the heat of the night all by myself, man, I would like.

00;28;30;17 - 00;29;01;06
Speaker 2
I couldn't be alone. I wrote a poem called Never Alone, Always Lonely because I couldn't be alone because being alone means I had to think thinking I didn't want to think what I had to think. Then all of a sudden I like I had to run and it's really interesting that you say that about that because when, you know, when we're when we're comfortable with with who we are, then we can be the same person in a bar, same person, you know, on the set of mall.

00;29;01;06 - 00;29;05;02
Speaker 2
But that's really dating myself.

00;29;05;02 - 00;29;05;28
Speaker 1
What's a mall.

00;29;07;12 - 00;29;07;23
Speaker 3
Do you say?

00;29;07;23 - 00;29;09;01
Speaker 1
Mall or mall?

00;29;09;01 - 00;29;09;18
Speaker 2
Mall?

00;29;09;25 - 00;29;11;18
Speaker 1
Yeah.

00;29;11;18 - 00;29;14;13
Speaker 2
Mall. You know, I miss a mall.

00;29;14;29 - 00;29;19;25
Speaker 3
Yeah, I'm our mall is being turned into like some dino safari I was.

00;29;20;02 - 00;29;23;13
Speaker 2
Yeah, I just kind of know why, but who knows?

00;29;24;21 - 00;29;59;13
Speaker 1
So, Scott, I'm just going to bring this up now. All of this and again, this is the second episode, so we've got lots to dove into. But all of that that you're talking about has led you to bring this gift to the world of this book that you've recently written. Right? Culture is an inside job, and so talk about and I don't know if you've shared this with me or us yet, but what was that moment that you're like, Oh yeah, I'm ready.

00;29;59;13 - 00;30;04;00
Speaker 1
Like, I'm going to write this book. Like, Well, what was that moment for you?

00;30;04;00 - 00;30;07;16
Speaker 3
I want to go back to the moment where you were like, I suck.

00;30;08;15 - 00;30;11;29
Speaker 1
Oh, well, we'll get to that, too. That was a.

00;30;12;01 - 00;30;14;04
Speaker 2
Good story that happens every day. Karen No.

00;30;14;08 - 00;30;14;26
Speaker 3
No.

00;30;16;01 - 00;30;33;20
Speaker 2
No. I think it was pretty save a really good friend of mine, Mike Mattel, he's a great friend. And he asked me to have coffee and and we've been meeting a couple of times and and he's like, man, you gotta write a book. You've got a lot of good stories. And I'm like, I mean, asking me to sit down and think about doing something like that.

00;30;33;20 - 00;30;51;22
Speaker 2
I mean, you might as well. I'd rather chew on a bag of nails and have to think about that. But then the other thing too, is I had somebody else come up to me and say, Hey, you're way too vulnerable. And when you share all those stories, it makes you look really small and weak. But today I know.

00;30;52;02 - 00;31;02;08
Speaker 2
And that to that person, I said, look, this this might be hurtful, but it's honest. What you said might be the weakest statement I've ever heard.

00;31;03;10 - 00;31;03;29
Speaker 3
I would agree.

00;31;04;17 - 00;31;26;14
Speaker 2
Because when you're vulnerable, that's other people know that they're not alone. Everyone's still that little boy and little girl inside of them. And there's and even even as big and tall as we think we are, there's still things that we're afraid of. And I've learned a lot in life through mistakes and those mistakes, they're gifts. And I'm not afraid to share them.

00;31;26;28 - 00;31;45;00
Speaker 2
And I'm not afraid to talk about them. I'm not even ashamed of them. I've kind of clean my side of the street and there's some people that would look at me and say, Well, he's that he's the same guy. And and you know what the cool thing about all of that is they're allowed to think that and they can leave.

00;31;45;14 - 00;32;04;20
Speaker 2
And it's still that same thought. But I know I'm not the same guy and that's okay. And I don't hold that against them. Their opinion of me and I hold against them and I'm not and I'm not going to look at them differently because of that. And really just so just sharing that was important to me. And, you know, who knows?

00;32;04;20 - 00;32;14;14
Speaker 2
It might I mean, it might suck, who knows? But it's honest and it's truthful and it's vulnerable. And I had a lot of people help me along the way and hopefully I can be useful to others.

00;32;15;15 - 00;32;46;23
Speaker 3
The word vulnerable is huge here because that is a word that so many people misconstrue. Yeah. In armor right in weeks it's like you can't be vulnerable. You can't show the color of your underpants. That is way too exposing. But what we have to learn, and that's exactly the purpose of what we're doing, is there's truth, that's honesty.

00;32;46;23 - 00;33;07;06
Speaker 3
That is that is power, that there is so much power in truth. So your story, which we really look forward to being able to share with our listeners, is really super powerful because everyone has to overcome that sense of being afraid, of being vulnerable every day.

00;33;08;06 - 00;33;36;05
Speaker 1
And I think the other important part of that, Karen, is the reminder that vulnerability looks different for everyone, right? We being vulnerable versus you or Scott, being vulnerable might look different. And I'm sure that in in sessions I've facilitated before when I talk about, you know, this session in this class is really all about being vulnerable. And for some of you may be the fact that you're even in this class.

00;33;36;22 - 00;33;50;06
Speaker 1
Right. Is being vulnerable and that you're opening your ears is being vulnerable. But for others, it might be sharing your heart and crying and talking and, you know, whatever it might be true. And so and that's okay because we're all at a different path in our journey.

00;33;50;16 - 00;34;06;20
Speaker 2
We have this phrase in recovery that if you walked into a room and you shared all of your problems with all your heart, all of them, when everyone was finished, you'd be shocked how fast you would pick up your own problems and say, I'm good and good enough.

00;34;06;28 - 00;34;08;16
Speaker 1
Yes. Isn't that true?

00;34;08;16 - 00;34;22;25
Speaker 3
Well, that is that goes back to God, gives you what he knows you can handle. Right? You can just. You want something? Well, the universe is conspiring for what it's supposed to give to you. What you actually are supposed to have. And so that's trust.

00;34;22;25 - 00;34;23;07
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00;34;23;14 - 00;34;31;05
Speaker 3
That goes back to trust. The more you can trust that, that's where you are empowered with self trust, trusting that higher power.

00;34;31;22 - 00;34;50;26
Speaker 2
And that's where, you know, as business leaders in regards to culture, it's so important. I mean, if you're if your door is closed all the time or you, you know, unfortunately, if you're arrogant enough to have your own private parking spot with your name on it. Right. And all of a sudden you just act like you're bigger and taller than everybody else in the building then.

00;34;51;08 - 00;35;13;12
Speaker 2
And then that just that leads so many people to have a different mindset in regards to who you are and what you're, you know, what you're all about for sure. Yeah. So, Wendy, one of the things too is I mean, so if you go back and think an organization that handed you something that you want nothing to do with in the future, what would that be.

00;35;17;18 - 00;35;22;01
Speaker 1
In that when you mean when you say handed me something meaning like a part of that.

00;35;22;25 - 00;35;23;03
Speaker 2
Part.

00;35;23;09 - 00;35;23;13
Speaker 1
Of it.

00;35;23;24 - 00;35;25;09
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's about it.

00;35;26;04 - 00;35;26;11
Speaker 3
Yeah.

00;35;26;12 - 00;35;27;26
Speaker 2
That's what your coach and I'm not.

00;35;28;27 - 00;35;52;20
Speaker 1
Hey, but I know you well enough to know what you mean. So it's good. Yeah. The things that come up for me, as you say, that are arrogance, which we've talked about, that really coming from a place of, of self. Right. And then also those who lead by fear and and I'll call that out as command and control.

00;35;53;06 - 00;36;22;21
Speaker 1
Right. Versus being curious and asking questions and trusting and so forth. But I would say that leading leading by fear. And again, I really fully believe in the 8020 rule or even the 9010 rule. Right? 80 to 90% of the people have really good intentions. And the reason they show up is and because they should come to work every day saying, I'm going to be a jerk today.

00;36;22;22 - 00;36;42;22
Speaker 1
Right? It's because of, again, the stuff, all the things that we've talked about that each one of us individually have experience in our life. You know, everybody else has their own story. But those are the things where, you know, I whether I stayed or I left, I got to make the choice. Do I want to be a part of that or not?

00;36;43;11 - 00;37;06;20
Speaker 1
And and it goes back to values, right? It's just not person that I, you know, that I want to be, nor do I want to be a part that and I love what you said earlier, Scott, because it's so true. It is. And it takes a lot of work. I think, and the experience that I've had to discover this.

00;37;06;20 - 00;37;33;22
Speaker 1
But we each have the opportunity when we're put in those circumstances to determine not just how are we going to react to it, but what are we going to do about it. And we absolutely have the opportunity to bring our own culture to a family, an organization, a community, you know, whatever it is. And to see, gosh, what difference do I can I make and what's the light that I can bring to this?

00;37;34;25 - 00;38;03;15
Speaker 1
Even though there's this other darkness or whatever you want to call it coming through and we each get the opportunity to make the discovery that what we're bringing isn't making the difference, that we hope to, to to make. Right, because we can't fix things. So we get to make the choice. Is it time to go? And there is a time to go.

00;38;03;24 - 00;38;18;04
Speaker 1
And it doesn't mean that every time we leave, something's wrong. It just means in those situations we get to make that choice. So I'm sure there are more, but those are the things that really stand out to me when you ask that question.

00;38;18;21 - 00;38;44;18
Speaker 2
Well, I think in it, hopefully in every single episode to ask some questions for our listeners in regards to, you know, are you willing to go inside, are you willing to explore things that are going on inside of your own heart and mind and think about, you know, the choices that you could make can make the decisions that you can make and, you know, the change that's available.

00;38;44;28 - 00;39;12;16
Speaker 2
And some of it's a lot of hard work, but you know, that redemption and restoration is it's available, but it does take a lot of hard inside inside work. And that really the decision is is is really around peace and serenity, how bad you want it. I mean, if you want it like oxygen, it's available, but you have to work at it.

00;39;14;05 - 00;39;40;04
Speaker 1
That's right. And I and I really feel like that's a great way to if we're at a point where we want to wrap up just that whole. Okay, let's go inside. It's it's circling back around to what we asked last time because we defined culture. Right. So what is why is culture really important to you? What is important about being a part of something like this?

00;39;40;04 - 00;39;48;05
Speaker 1
And then the other question that you said, Scott, is are you willing to really go inside because that's where it starts.

00;39;48;26 - 00;39;52;23
Speaker 2
Yeah. No, I completely agree.

00;39;52;23 - 00;40;19;27
Speaker 3
I just want to piggyback on that and take that one step further in terms because what you guys were both sharing here was coming up something for me and that it only takes one. Right. And it doesn't need to be the CEO to impact and effect change. And so we're not talking about fixing, right. Because nothing made need to be fixed, but it really only takes one to impact change.

00;40;19;28 - 00;40;24;09
Speaker 3
And so yeah, if you were that one, what would that look?

00;40;25;18 - 00;40;41;12
Speaker 2
I was just amazed. We would tell some young people, go lead until someone tells you not to, and then they would get promoted and say, Well, how do they get that job? And so like we told them to go lead to someone, told them not to and told them not to. Well, how do I do that? Well, then go lead and tell someone.

00;40;41;12 - 00;40;58;02
Speaker 2
Tells you not to. Well, I don't love that I'm allowed to do that. Oh, my gosh. I just told you a year ago. Well, because people want to be led, you know, even the water cooler conversations, victimhood and all the gossip and, you know, some of it, quite frankly, it's fun and it's the way people kind of let off steam.

00;40;58;20 - 00;41;21;08
Speaker 2
But deep down, most people want to be led. And so I don't care if you're 19 or your 70 lead until someone tells you, tells you not to. But I love ending the session with what kind of what what Wendy kind of challenges us to do in regards to going inside, you know, what part of that culture maybe don't you like?

00;41;22;07 - 00;41;30;24
Speaker 2
And then where you really get honest with yourself is what part of that is inside of you and what can you do about it?

00;41;30;24 - 00;41;32;12
Speaker 1
Yeah. What do you bring into the world?

00;41;32;22 - 00;41;38;10
Speaker 2
Who? I like that. So join us next time on culture is an inside job.