The Seven Levels of Leadership - Part 5 | EP7 |

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Speaker 1
Welcome to Culture is an inside job. The Podcast on building an authentic, engaging and inspiring culture. Hi, I'm Wendy Roop and along with my friends and co-hosts Karen Preston and Scott McGowan, we believe that building a healthy work culture starts with leaders like you. If you're ready to get real and dig deep into your own self-awareness, determine how you want to show up in the world and then take aligned action to transform your leadership and those around you.

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Speaker 1
Then this podcast is for you. Now let's go inside.

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Speaker 1
Welcome back, everybody. To Culture is an inside job.

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Speaker 2
Hey there.

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Speaker 3
Hey, we were laughing about that. So.

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Speaker 1
Karen, you got to share.

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Speaker 2
All right. What smells in here?

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Speaker 3
That.

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Speaker 2
I smell that. What is it?

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Speaker 3
Well, fortunately, I have spent a lot of time about two years writing a book, and it will come out in 2022. The title of it is What Smells In Here. And really, it's based on the fact that it's inside an organization. I believe there's five senses that people look at and explore, and that's really around what people see, what they what they hear, what they taste could be an forms of compensation and then what they can touch.

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Speaker 3
So our doors open, our doors closed. Can I move around the the the office environment or the organization? And then ultimately, what's what people smell as a motive? Hmm. Why does this person attract gas? Does it smell like a dumpster or does it smell like maybe grandma cookies? Right.

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Speaker 3
What is a cut or what is the culture? What does it smell like? And so I'm excited about that.

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Speaker 2
Yeah, we're excited for you and really kind of to go back to where this all started was the podcast name Culture's Inside Job. So when I was listening to your book on audio and the title on every page, Busted Culture is an inside job. And so I put it on Speed it Up and it would be like culture is an inside joke joke.

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Speaker 2
23 So I would go through the chapters and every page. Culture is an inside job.

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Speaker 1
So you can hardly hear it without laughing.

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Speaker 2
Yeah, I guess every time I hear you say culture is an inside job, I can't say I'm sorry. I just giggle to myself about a joke. It's a joke.

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Speaker 3
There's a story in the Bible about a joke.

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Speaker 2
That's why I. Are you going to get a look and see what's the biblical reference to joke here?

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Speaker 1
Joke definitely had all levels of energy as well, right?

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Speaker 3
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm not saying like I've read it. I'm not. I guarantee I don't want any part of that story.

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Speaker 2
Well, that's for another time. So when I get home here.

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Speaker 1
I will bring us home. Well, for those of you that maybe never listened to any of the other podcasts yet episodes yet we are in episode eight and we are talking about a body of work called Energy Leadership. And there are seven different levels of energy. And we have been discussing each one of them and we're going to dove into we'll recap a little bit about, you know, quickly, what are the levels of energy.

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Speaker 1
And then we're going to talk more about the advantages and challenges of level six and just a tidbit of seven. And I think the other goal for today, we'll see how it goes, because we just roll with it. But just also talk about, well, what holds us back from moving, you know, shifting our mindset in our emotions into some of these higher levels.

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Speaker 1
So with that, Karen, you want to give us a snippet of just the energy levels where we've been and then we'll dove into advantages and challenges of six.

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Speaker 2
Sure thing. So to refresh our memories here with catabolic and anabolic, right catabolic, the lower levels of energy, more destructive, more damaging, the higher levels, more anabolic is constructive and creative. So level one, I lose feeling helpless and hopeless. Level two, you lose feeling frustrated and resentful and conflict. Level three, I win. And this is where there's a little bit more coping and rationalizing.

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Speaker 2
Don't really care about anyone else because I'm going to do it. Take skip my win. Level four, you win. This is the place of self, of compassion and service, sometimes to others, to a situation as well as back to ourselves. Level five is we both win. This is where there's a lot more opportunities. Responsibilities are taken here. This is where we thrive as leaders.

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Speaker 2
Level six is we always win. This is where every experience, regardless of the challenge, is a gift as it is an opportunity to learn and grow. Whereas Level six is this really amazing space of being able to observe all your other all your other levels as well to to have less judgment of where you're showing up. A tremendous amount of acceptance for yourself, a situation and others without that level of judgment.

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Speaker 2
Level six is a space where we've built this awareness. We have a strong level of acceptance, making that conscious choice where we talks a little bit about conscious choice last time, being able to step off that level for bridge and to seeing where is there an opportunity to to be what's potential right and being able to say, while I know this is hard or this is a challenge or this is traumatic, there is a purpose to it.

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Speaker 2
Right? And I want to glean that purpose because I'm going to learn something 100% of the time.

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Speaker 1
Yeah. That deeper level of that emotion of joy, right. No matter what's happening around us. And I think the you know, some of the other advantages to being in this level is our empathy really kicks in right when we're in this level of energy and we can feel really connected without judgment. Again, thinking of ourselves as well as other people and some of the challenges, again, you know, the higher level of these of of energy that we we have, we can be out of touch with others or be perceived, you know, to be out of touch with others.

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Speaker 1
And and the other the other challenge of this is, you know, this is called out as the visionary. And we're actually putting not only having the vision, but putting things into action. And because we find opportunity in anything, we can be a risk taker. Right. And so it's just, you know, making sure that it's a how can we make sure that it is a what is that?

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Speaker 1
So we say, Scott calculated risk. I remember saying will then be calculated risk and so you know like I can relate to starting my coaching practice this year, I definitely was coming from that higher level of energy and saying, I'm doing this, I understand the risks and I'm doing it right. And so that's just a description of of when we're in level six.

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Speaker 2
I want to add here that, you know, I just intuitively kind of realize that that's where you're leading with that level of intuition from that level six place, right. When you intuitively made some decisions this year.

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Speaker 1
That's right.

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Speaker 2
You said this is what I'm feeling. This is a really strong gut feeling for me. And I'm I trust, you know, there's a huge amount of trust here. This is trusting the process, trusting yourself, but leaning leaning into the leading with your intuition. Mm.

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Speaker 1
Yeah. Just not only that, that empathy for self but yes. Intuition and you know, as a leader we've been of course the whole point of this is not only for self-aware ness, but also thinking about how we show up as leaders. And having that intuition as a leader is such a critical component of being a strong leader. Scott How do you see this showing up in leadership and in your company and.

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Speaker 3
I probably talk about it like in your example, Sonya, when you thought about just this energy around starting your own organization and all the excitement around it. But you also, I'm assuming you played the entire deck of cards out. So in other words, like what happens if this doesn't work? Like, what's what's my plan if it doesn't work?

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Speaker 3
So I think sometimes, you know, I get teased around here as, you know, whether it be, you know, Captain Optimism or a Pollyanna. Right, is because I think yes, I'm optimistic. And yes, I would like to see the best in people. But I'm also a realist like I like I also understand the consequences on the back end. So I paint the whole picture and I mean to receive the entire picture in optimism, but also in reality, if things don't work out like what's what's the next step, does that does that make sense?

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Speaker 1
Yeah. And I think the way I would describe it from a higher level of energy, you know, level six perspective. And Karen, you and I do this a lot and you're really good at this when you know, even as you've coached me around some things this year is when we're at this higher level of energy and we feel called to something.

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Speaker 1
It's and what is the worst thing that could happen, right? Because again, the higher level that we go, the more we see opportunity in anything. So. So if something happened and this wasn't the path I was meant to take. Right. What's the worst thing that can happen? Which there's also an opportunity in that. And so that I just I say that out loud because hopefully that helps connect with the difference between asking that kind of question when we're in the lower levels of already thinking that it's going to fail versus when we're coming from the higher places.

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Speaker 1
Okay, this is what I feel called to do. I'm taking action in this and let's play this out right. Let's be prepared. Let's what's the opportunity if this isn't the opportunity, if that makes sense here? And how what would you add to that?

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Speaker 2
The word fearless is just continuing to come up here the way you just were talking. And and there's a part of that. That's absolutely true, Scott. It's this it's this space of I'm going to do this, we're going to do this. And there's no such thing as failure. We're going to do this and we're going to learn whatever happens.

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Speaker 2
There's a risk. Yes, but we're not. There's no such thing as failure. Some people even refer to it as failing forward if if you want to use it that way. But it's the ability to to traverse a landscape fearlessly enough to take the risk and know that no matter what on the other side of that decision, there is no good or bad, right or wrong.

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Speaker 2
It's only ever an opportunity to learn and grow.

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Speaker 1
Yes.

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Speaker 2
And so when you think like that, when you're in that kind of mindset, there is no fear. There's no fear. Literally, it's absolved. Now, it doesn't mean that it's totally actually, it's not really fair to say that it's about you do look at fear in the face, but when you can peel back the layer of fear and get to truth, the truth is there is no failure that sets you up for success every single time, right?

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Speaker 1
Again, no matter what, it's going to be okay. Right. We may not know what okay is that is trusting that it's yeah yeah I get have Hawke podcast on our episode just talking about this last year and all the different levels of energy that I was in even though I, you know I do typically resonate from this higher levels of energy.

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Speaker 1
Yeah, I dip down you know because it's that fear. It's that fear. And if we stay in that, gosh, it can just steal our joy, right? Steal our.

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Speaker 3
Job here. Yep.

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Speaker 1
So, okay, what else about sex? Hmm? I feel like six and seven or, you know, you just.

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Speaker 2
Said something before that was that that triggered me a little in a, in a beautiful way that I wanted to come back to. But it's really I can't remember. My my COVID brain is totally foggy. So you want to step into some seven?

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Speaker 1
Yeah, let's do that.

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Speaker 2
Let's.

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Speaker 1
Mm hmm. So seven is called out as the creator.

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Speaker 2
Yes. And in this space of being a creator, we are we see there is a winning and losing are all just an illusion. And this is that space of. Oh, I know. I remember that it's being okay, right? We get to that space and level six where like it's okay, right? We overcome that fear and like no matter what right level seven is, it just is we just are there's no okay ness of it because that's still a judgment as to whether or not that's okay or not.

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Speaker 2
Right. Level seven is it just is. I just am. You just are.

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Speaker 1
Yeah.

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Speaker 2
And that is that space of just being right where we can create and participate and observe all at the same time. And we certainly cannot reside here because then we would be very aloof and not very grounded, but the ability to tap into the space is where we get our aha is. It's that download the genius, the visionary, the, the, the, the, the moments that when we get to that space and we know we're there because the minute that we realize that we're there were no longer there, you know, I'm talking about.

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Speaker 1
Yes.

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Speaker 2
But tapping into that is what allows us to have access to all the other levels when we need them, because we know how to use them in that given moment again, without judgment. Right.

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Speaker 1
Yeah. And it's it's yeah. The what you're describing is that absolute passion. And I think we talk about maybe, you know, and I know when we're level six, we're in this mode, but especially as we're going into seven, it's I referred to it as being in the flow when everything just seems to like, you know, flow and, and the other the other thing, I think we brought this up before, but just to bring this up again, we are literally using our whole brain here.

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Speaker 1
Right? So some people, like you said, Karen, we don't reside most people don't reside here for very long. And as we describe it, people probably hear it and say, what are you like floating on a cloud? Or, You know, what's happening here? But it's what you were talking about as far as the higher level that we have, the higher level of energy that we have, that we're using, the more ability we have to utilize and go into some of these other levels as it's useful to us or to others, and that is using our whole brain.

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Speaker 1
And Karen, I mean, you know, we were talking before about each of the levels like either come from a heart place or a head place. And when we're in this, our is it heart and head together in seven or is it is it head?

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Speaker 2
I think it's I think it's that's a great question that we can Culberson for this but.

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Speaker 1
My.

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Speaker 2
I'll text it real quick it's beyond that space I believe it is then that you know, it's probably more of that, you know, crown chakra like space where it's utilizing the assets of of our whole being. Right.

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Speaker 1
And it's and this is what came up for me as you were describing that to it. No matter your beliefs, right? For me it's God. But no matter your beliefs, it is that divine connection or that connection to something bigger than us. Call it the universe, call it, you know, whatever it is, but it's and you can't see me if you're listening to this podcast, but I'm like kind of taking my hand from my, you know, head to my heart.

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Speaker 1
It's that line up, you know, and, and this is where I believe we get our truest of downloads from. For me, again, God, you know.

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Speaker 2
That higher level of.

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Speaker 1
Higher.

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Speaker 2
Being being. Yes, for sure. Yeah.

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Speaker 3
So if we were going to carry the cutting the grass analogy.

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Speaker 1
Yeah, we're going to do level six and seven. Yeah.

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Speaker 3
Level six is.

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Speaker 1
Going to be interesting.

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Speaker 2
Level six, let's see.

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Speaker 1
I don't know, you know, let's play around with this a little bit. Is it, you know. Yeah, I'm going to I'm going to cut the ground. Yes, I'm going to cut the grass. And and and I'm going to do these incredible patterns in the grass at the same time, because I don't know I don't know messing around with it.

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Speaker 2
But fun. That's fun. All right. So let's get into this. Let level six is that space of you know, it's it's always a win. Right. And so do you want to make this a little challenging for the the child to have to mow the lawn? Or do we just kind of want to simply.

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Speaker 1
Kind of use that same thing Scott was saying before that if, you know, if the dad then or the mom was like, well, I need it, I need it done now, okay. You know.

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Speaker 2
To go back because our listeners may not have heard the last name, but okay, so in level five, it was, Hey, son, can you mow the lawn? Yes, Dad, I need to make a phone call, though. That's important. Would that be okay if I. If I started and, you know, half hour to an hour or so and dad said, sure, son, no problem.

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Speaker 2
Because of course, that's the win win together. So level six, this is always a win, right? Would be. And what you stumped me here. So I had this phone call, Dad. And yes, I know that this is a little bit of a challenge for our timing. So I think this is an opportunity for us to play, you know, maybe ask some questions.

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Speaker 2
Remember how we talked in the last episode about asking those questions? This is that space. I believe it's the where, who has the more, where is it? Where is there an opportunity to learn something here? And right now, I can put my phone call aside because it makes more sense for you because company is coming in an hour for me to make sure that I can do my call afterwards.

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Speaker 2
So I think that's the curiosity piece. Let's let's explore that. Right. So it would be and.

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Speaker 1
Can I say to what I'm hearing you do right now, it is empathy and intuition, right? It's when we are really digging into that empathy and our intuition. That's what I heard when you were starting to describe that.

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Speaker 2
So so yes. That I definitely can mow the lawn. Let's what's the timing of the company coming? Right. And so what you see, I'm asking more questions to be able to derive what what are we supposed to learn from this? Right.

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Speaker 1
And it seems really important that this is done. You know, that this gets done, Dad, because of the company coming. And, you know, and I feel like I'm going to make a quick phone call and then I'm going to get right on that because I just know how important that is. Right? It's just that empathy. And and then I guess them using their intuition kind of a little bit hard to do at these higher levels.

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Speaker 2
But well, let's get a let's will make we'll do this level seven as well. This is really going to challenge. But then I think, like what I said before was let's start looking at how these levels play out in an organization, because I love that we're mowing grass, but let's actually see what we can get into a meaty conversation in an organization to make it more relative.

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Speaker 2
And that may not be today, but look for that in the future. Okay, so level seven, this is going to be a bit of a challenge that grass is beautiful just as it is.

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Speaker 1
Oh ho ho ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, Mike, drop.

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Speaker 2
Or it could be. And it's not even there's no answer to Dad. It's just he goes and proceeds to mow the lawn. It doesn't have to be an exchange, even because there's an understanding of there's no yes or no about it.

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Speaker 1
It's just it doesn't just happen.

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Speaker 2
It's just done.

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Speaker 1
Oh, yeah, I'm taking it up. This is good. See, Scott, you're challenging us.

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Speaker 3
Because what's interesting is growing up in our house, I'm not sure I ever asked Taylor to cut the grass. And here's why. Because I was pretty manic about how I like to cut like a double cut. And by the way, it only takes me 18 minutes to cut my grass. So it's not like. Right? It's mostly mulch. And there's this, like, small patch.

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Speaker 3
So but here's what's even like, profound. If you saw Taylor's yard, it looks like a golf course.

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Speaker 2
I didn't know you had a grass. Like what you think.

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Speaker 3
Oh, it's amazing. It's. It's a thousand times better than my are thousand times better. I mean, it's incredible. It's unreal. It's just unbelievable. And but I mean, I think what I'm hearing to in these and these different levels, especially this level, is the opportunity that's available inside of relationships. There's just an amazing opportunity to you know, I'm not sure if I talked about this before, but have I ever shared the phrase to sickies?

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Speaker 3
Don't make a well, we've told you that.

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Speaker 1
Yeah.

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Speaker 3
Yeah. And I think the issue would be the fact that see, I think as leaders, too, I mean, everyone has their hotness fair, everyone's got crap for sure, just stuff. And as a leader, which you have to understand, especially in a work environment, is like people don't bring people don't leave divorce affairs, struggling children, parents that are that are that are really struggling.

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Speaker 3
They don't leave all that stuff at home. Like employers really feel like, hey, that's know and here we work and at home you do your stuff. But people bring all that stuff to work, all of it. And then when we're asking deeper, compelling questions, we're able to understand what people or where people are. And one thing, if covid's done anything, it's opened.

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Speaker 3
This can where vulnerability is okay. Not a bad thing. That makes sense.

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Speaker 2
Absolutely.

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Speaker 1
So much.

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Speaker 2
Yeah, it's a level set the playing field, right? Yeah. I think we're all in it together now. Like you're not you're not any different than me and we're just as vulnerable and just as human and trying to figure it all out like we. It's almost as if everyone is standing on stage totally naked, not in the stands. But we're all trying to figure out how to do this with no knowing on how to do it.

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Speaker 2
Right.

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Speaker 1
Yeah. And hopefully if you know what people walk away with listening to this is just, you know, as leaders again. And when I say leaders, it's just not in the organization, it's in our home, it's in our community, you know, etc. It's the opportunity to come from choice in how we're reacting right to situations and to each other.

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Speaker 1
And just by the grass cutting example, the difference that makes when you can come from those higher levels of energy with each other. And the the biggest word and we've said it and will keep saying it a lot is being curious. Change versus judging. I mean, we are so we can be in the way see when we say we I mean I to right.

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Speaker 1
We can be so judgmental of ourselves and each other and and again, that's that's catabolic energy, right? That's breaking ourselves down is breaking other people down. And, and how can we just see each other, truly see each other and the gifts that we each bring and be less judgmental and understand that we all have something to bring. Even if somebody doesn't do something as well as I do, there is a place for every single person in this world.

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Speaker 1
Everybody has value. And yeah, we could we could get onto a whole nother subject of, you know, even we talk about, you know, somebody is a bad leader or bad, you know, bad team or using, you know, those kind of words. But a lot of times it's the system, right? It's it's how are we as the organization helping these people and teams thrive?

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Speaker 1
Now, I'm not saying that, you know, sometimes people are definitely on the wrong seat, on the wrong bus. And that's that's for us, the key to not judging that, oh, there's no place for you at all. It's just, okay, how can I help you shift? And again, I just say that because that's culture. And that relates back to what we're talking about with these seven levels of leadership and of of energy.

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Speaker 1
So good stuff.

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Speaker 2
I love that you bringing up the judgment. And, you know, it's almost like I had this vision of seeing judgment, like in a wrestling match with curiosity.

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Speaker 1
Right.

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Speaker 2
And how really truly, if we if we could overcome judgment using curiosity, wow. With this world, be a different place. If we just start making assumptions and limiting beliefs and interpreting things for it through our own filter of our own experiences that our own lenses and our own judgments and our own saboteurs, right? Mm hmm. And we just started asking questions because genuinely, we want earnestly to know what this world be.

00;28;37;18 - 00;28;56;02
Speaker 2
A different place. Wouldn't we have a more cohesive culture? Wouldn't we have more harmony in our hearts and and lives and communities and families and organizations? I don't know. It's just it's a simple it's a simple solution. We just got a simple solution. Awareness, right?

00;28;56;03 - 00;28;58;00
Speaker 1
Difficult to do or not.

00;28;58;13 - 00;29;14;16
Speaker 3
Because I think a lot of people maybe might even be listening and say, you know, this is a bunch of like I got a I got a job to do in this company. I got to get this job done. But maybe here's a maybe something comparative. And do you guys love Chick-Fil-A?

00;29;14;16 - 00;29;16;05
Speaker 2
I love Chick-Fil-A.

00;29;16;19 - 00;29;35;16
Speaker 3
Love Chick-Fil-A. So when you watch people inside it, I mean, are they are they placing in order and serving fast food? The answer's yes, right. When you think about that, have you ever pulled in Chick-Fil-A? There's like 30 cars in line 30.

00;29;35;17 - 00;29;38;01
Speaker 2
Yeah. That lady don't take you.

00;29;38;19 - 00;29;45;28
Speaker 3
Yeah. It's only place that you would pull in and wait in line, and it's. It's for the food, for sure.

00;29;45;28 - 00;29;47;03
Speaker 2
It's worth it.

00;29;47;03 - 00;29;59;09
Speaker 3
But here's why. Because you have a mindset that it's not going to take as long as everybody else. Right. And the workforce is there. They call you their guest.

00;30;00;07 - 00;30;01;04
Speaker 1
The service.

00;30;01;19 - 00;30;22;26
Speaker 3
You ask a question and what do they say? My pleasure. And then when you watch, like the scattering of all the employees and the drive thru and all that stuff, what are they doing behind the scenes? They're all encouraging each other, right? They're all encouraging each other. Now, at the end of the day, the work it's done, there's orders and food to be served and the work gets done.

00;30;24;00 - 00;30;51;11
Speaker 3
But when you think about that environment, the environment of an employee at Chick-Fil-A versus the environment or employee at, you know, pick another fast food restaurant, my gut tells me that those employees at Chick-Fil-A, they have the elements of teamwork. They certainly understand empathy because I know at 1130 or 11:00 May Ham's coming, May Ham's come in. And there's only one way we can do this, and that's to do it together, right?

00;30;51;24 - 00;31;19;10
Speaker 3
And we do this with optimism and we do that. We say things like, my pleasure. We treat people as guests. And that's available inside of every single company today. It's not that. And it starts with love, empathy, not sympathy. Right? Being curious, caring about the customer, making things centric. All that stuff's available. It just has to be important.

00;31;19;10 - 00;31;25;23
Speaker 3
And if it's not important, then you're going to get what you get. So yeah, good. Right.

00;31;25;28 - 00;31;43;25
Speaker 1
And it comes back to this no matter what you get to choose. And what's the impact of choosing the Chick-Fil-A, right? Like take that into your your business. Yep. You get to choose if you think this is a bunch of hokey pokey, then you get to choose and then what's the impact of that.

00;31;44;22 - 00;31;44;29
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00;31;45;27 - 00;32;17;12
Speaker 1
So perhaps we wrap this episode up by just talking quickly about how do we, how do we figure out what's getting in our way. You know, we're talking about shifting your energy and we're talking about showing up differently. Well, obviously, we don't do those things because things get in our way. And so, Karen, what are those things that get in our way and we'll dove into those later, but maybe from a high level, just let's let our listeners know that's.

00;32;18;06 - 00;32;46;23
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah. I think episode nine we'll dove deeper, but it's almost like going back to the title of your book. Scott It's the wet smells in here, right? It's the what is in the way. And so if we looked at, you know, we have tons of limiting beliefs, right? This is like the ideas of how we how we grew up, the things that, you know, our parents said, the things that our teacher said, our coaches said.

00;32;46;29 - 00;33;11;08
Speaker 2
Right. Or our grandparents and aunts and uncles like it was the way they thought and believed. And this limits us in our scope of being curious enough because we believe this is the way it's supposed to be. Right. Assumptions also are are oftentimes in our way because again, through the lens of this is my experience, I'm making an assumption because this happened to me before, it's going to happen again.

00;33;11;15 - 00;33;47;02
Speaker 2
So I'm assuming, of course, the worst and how we interpret experiences as well goes through this filter of our own experiences and our interpretations can oftentimes be very inaccurate or misguided or, you know, again, just based on our experiences of how we've how we've seen and played the game of life and then our friendly little gremlins or the amygdala hijack or the inner critic or the saboteurs, you know, call them what you will.

00;33;47;02 - 00;34;12;10
Speaker 2
But these are the judges that wreak havoc on our mindsets and keep us playing small, keep us in those lower levels of energy, keep us feeling fearful, keep us away from the truth. They do not want us to know the truth. It is safer for us to be protected by these crazy characters because it is too scary out there to survive without them.

00;34;13;29 - 00;34;15;01
Speaker 1
And this is where.

00;34;15;24 - 00;34;25;28
Speaker 2
You get now I just going to say and until we can peel that back and get get really that that's the greatest sense of awareness. That's what allows us to shift to the higher levels. Go ahead.

00;34;26;04 - 00;34;50;22
Speaker 1
Exactly where I was going with this is this is where the true work is. Right. This is not everybody's willing to go here to understand what are those gremlins and assumptions, interpretations and limiting beliefs. The saboteur is a judge. Like what? You know, where did they come from? And and, you know, and I don't know, this just came up for me.

00;34;50;22 - 00;35;11;17
Speaker 1
So I'm going to say it. This is as as coaches, right? There's a difference between a coach and a counselor or a therapist. And as coaches, we we do go back to when when we're trying to discover where did that come from? And someone may say, well, when I was six or my parents used to or in my last job.

00;35;11;17 - 00;35;28;02
Speaker 1
Right. And that's important to discover because we need to know where those things came from. And then our job as coaches is to help them discover that. Let them sit in it, let them, you know, and then and then we're bringing them to the present and saying, how do you want to move forward and let's just be real.

00;35;28;14 - 00;35;53;01
Speaker 1
Some of us, me included, right, have have needed and wanted and gone to a therapist or a counselor to say, I need to spend a little bit more time on this and that's okay. And so I say that because there are some people who have had traumatic events in their life, and so trauma is very near and dear to my heart.

00;35;53;01 - 00;36;17;10
Speaker 1
And so as we're talking through this, I just want people to protect themselves from the, you know, perspective of take your time in this. This isn't a force thing. It's understanding what what are each of these things? And next time we can describe them, what does what does it mean? Interpretation, limiting belief, etc.. And then and then just staying there is in order to discover what is it that comes up for you.

00;36;18;00 - 00;36;34;00
Speaker 1
And the beauty of this is, is that when we do that, we get to say, okay, that staying in the past isn't serving me anymore. So how can I use it to be the best version of myself today and to move forward with? And that's my hope for everyone listening.

00;36;34;13 - 00;37;06;27
Speaker 2
And that fits back into culture the same way where you go from dysfunction to cohesion. Yeah, and it doesn't mean that everybody's firing on all cylinders. It doesn't mean that everybody's perfect. It doesn't mean that everybody's, you know, no more issues in their lives. It's just this awareness, acceptance and conscious choice that leads them to know that, you know what, this has not been an easy road to tow, but I'm here now and there's a purpose to that.

00;37;07;23 - 00;37;14;23
Speaker 2
And if I'm not looking at where there's opportunities to keep learning and growing from these experiences, then I'm dying.

00;37;17;10 - 00;37;46;27
Speaker 2
And while we have fear on the table here with dying being probably the biggest fear that we all have, what would it look like to flip that narrative, to say, I get to live again today instead of being focusing on the day where we don't know or maybe we do and it doesn't matter. But I get to show up right here and now.

00;37;46;27 - 00;37;48;09
Speaker 2
That's the conscious choice piece.

00;37;48;21 - 00;37;59;16
Speaker 1
Yeah. Before we wrap up, Scott, what comes up for you as we as we talk about, you know, stepping into next time, talking about some of these things that hold us back, anything?

00;38;00;07 - 00;38;24;16
Speaker 3
You know, I think it just goes back to I can't be useful and helpful to others until I'm useful. Unhelpful myself. So if you're a fixer then or a people pleaser, put down the duct tape and the super glue. And if you need to use it, use it on yourself. It's not your job to use it on other people.

00;38;25;06 - 00;38;30;11
Speaker 2
Yeah. Until you realize that you're judging, it's really this just. You're just judging, right?

00;38;30;22 - 00;39;01;14
Speaker 3
And when you get to the point where you can see the dysfunction and the delusion and others and accept that, not have to fix it. And then to be able to come back and look at yourself and be examined. What's my part in this relationship, man? That's where the beauty is. Yeah, and then way off into the distance, you might be able to talk to that person about that, but it doesn't have to be today because I see so many people that want to fix everyone around them.

00;39;01;25 - 00;39;21;14
Speaker 3
And I would be like, hey, ever, ever thought of like fixing yourself. And, you know, in my face really important. And I've said this before and I'll keep saying it, but, you know, if the Bible teaches us to, you know, love our neighbors, you know, as ourselves, if we don't love ourselves and our neighbors don't have a shot.

00;39;21;14 - 00;39;30;25
Speaker 3
Yeah. And it begins with with that. And it's a journey. So I mean, you're not going to fix yourself overnight and.

00;39;31;01 - 00;39;33;02
Speaker 2
It just takes. There's nothing fix.

00;39;33;22 - 00;39;34;26
Speaker 3
Just a time, right?

00;39;35;08 - 00;39;41;26
Speaker 2
Yeah. We're perfect already. And in this moment, we couldn't be any different than we already are.

00;39;41;26 - 00;39;58;02
Speaker 1
And it's hard for us, even. Yeah, we could go another hour on this. It's hard for us to be able to connect with that because we're such we're always thinking of the next thing or the last thing, and it's hard to live in the moment and be present, but that's what this is truly. All this work is truly all about to.

00;39;58;02 - 00;40;20;11
Speaker 1
And and so like Scott says, yeah, right. I think like Scott says in his book, let's go inside. And so I think, you know, what comes up for you around we're asking our listeners this, you know, thinking about again when you think of that higher level of energy, five, six and seven, how are you showing up in that way?

00;40;20;11 - 00;40;42;26
Speaker 1
Or or what would it look like for you to show up in that way? And next time, we will dove deeper into these things that hold us back from from doing so. And with that again, happy holidays, everyone. Even though you won't be listening to this during this time. But we are because during this time. So happy holidays.

00;40;42;26 - 00;40;45;20
Speaker 1
Merry Christmas. And we'll see you soon.